Pitch Black
by Jeakat
Summary: Leah's POV of Eclipse. From heartbreak and phasing to the newborn battle and fights with the pack. How Leah became the 'bitter harpy' in the Eclipse epilogue. Rated T to be safe
1. 1 Worries

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, as if you hadn't guessed!

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You know how an eclipse only lasts for a short while? The sun disappears and the momentary darkness feels strange because you're just so used to the sun being there- it would never go away, right?

Well I thought I was just experiencing an eclipse- but how wrong I'd been. _My_ sun was never coming back. The moon had moved over, blocking all light and somehow- during the darkness that followed- someone had stolen the sun. Right before my eyes. When the moon moved and continued its journey through space there was nothing behind it, only darkness.

Then somehow, someone had started to snatch the stars too, taking the pin pricks of light and leaving the world pitch black. At least, that's what it felt like to me anyway.

Someone, somewhere, was conspiring against me, of that I was certain. I wasn't usually the type of person to wallow in self pity and ask 'why me?' in fact I used to hate those people- until I understood them.

I had been happy once- more than happy. I wasn't the brightest, the prettiest or the richest, but that didn't matter- I was content and considered myself lucky. I had a devoted family, a childhood so many dreamed about, and a boyfriend who loved me, despite- what my father would call- my fiery tendencies. Of course, it only tended to flare up when I saw injustices- like when I saw my sweet, caring brother being bullied.

Thinking of Seth I sighed. He'd been acting so different lately. I couldn't say that I blamed him; dad's death had been hard on us all. It was still hard. I occasionally saw flashes of the innocent child Seth used to be, full of an optimism and enthusiasm that could only be borne out of never seeing the hardships of the world- but for the past few weeks he'd barely spoken to me, preferring to spend all of his time out with his friends. I felt so bad for him. He was growing up, quite swiftly actually- he must have shot up at least six inches in the past couple of months- and he no longer had his father to guide him through it.

I dressed slowly and made my way downstairs. The house was empty- mom at work and Seth, as per usual, was out with his friends. I didn't really know _who _he was hanging around with, and I instantly felt guilty. This was something that I should be paying attention to. Seth needed someone to look out for him now. I made a mental note to talk to my mother about it later as I grabbed a bowl of cereal and headed into the lounge to watch re-runs of Jeopardy.

This was my life now. Get up. Have breakfast. Watch TV. Fix lunch. Do some chores. Eat dinner. Go to bed. It had been the same for almost two months now. Just under two agonising, long, hard months. One month, two weeks and four days since my father, my sun, had disappeared from my life, taking all my hopes and dreams with him. Not that I had been fine before he…passed- far from.

Sam had left me last year. I couldn't believe it. I knew we had our problems but I thought we were really trying. I _was_ trying, so hard. But it obviously hadn't been enough. We had been together for four year- four amazingly happy years. I had willingly given most of my teenage life to Sam and I never thought I'd regret it. In fact I still didn't regret it. No matter what heartache I had endured, I was still in love with him. It's funny how you can be so in love with someone and yet, at the same time, hate them so completely, as I do now.

I was still mourning the loss of my relationship when my second-cousin, Emily, had been attacked by a bear. I blamed myself entirely. If I hadn't asked her to come and stay with me she would have never been in the woods that day. The guilt I felt was indescribable. I had been so selfish, asking her to comfort me, and she had gotten hurt.

Sam was always in my mind though. He had made it clear that we could never be together again and I thought, with time, that I could get over him- move on. Not to something bigger and better, I couldn't see how anyone would be more right for me than Sam. But then I saw them- Sam and Emily- walking hand in hand down the beach, bandages still covering the claw marks than now stained her arm and beautiful face. At first I assumed that Sam was merely comforting her, and I was pleased to see that despite our separation he was still looking out for my family. He always knew how much Emily had meant to me. But then he turned towards her, a look of pure devotion on his face before he slowly leant down and gently kissed her.

I must have been at least one hundred foot away from them on the beach but he still heard my gasp. Looking up, he leapt away from Emily, guilt washing over his perfect features but it was too late- I'd seen everything. I turned and sprinted as fast as I could towards my house but he caught up with me easily.

"Leah," he breathed, clutching my arm and spinning me to face him, "Lee-Lee I'm s…"

"Don't say you're sorry Sam. Don't you even think of saying sorry," I'd whispered, tears threatening to spill. "How could _you_?"

"It's…I'm…I can't…I can't explain Leah. I wish I could. _God_ I wish I could."

"Then let me go."

"Please, please don't leave like this?" he pleaded as I noticed Emily round the corner onto the street.

I had to get away. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want to speak to her. I struggled to pry my arm free of his grasp, but he was too strong. Despite my desperate struggles he seemed to be holding me in place with ease.

"Leah?" Emily asked tentatively.

"How could you?" I repeated, not looking in her direction, "My cousin, practically my SISTER!" I had tried so hard to keep calm but I couldn't care less that I was shouting now. "LET ME GO!"

Sam instantly released my arm, causing me to stumble back. I quickly regained my balance and resumed running home.

"Leah?" Emily had called after me again.

I stopped dead in my tracks. There was nothing that she could say that would ever make this better, that would ever make this ok. With my back still facing her I'd replied, "I have nothing to say to you."

I had managed to run the rest of the way home before collapsing on the porch, sobs wracking my body. My heart was already broken, but that day last August, it had shattered.

I flicked through the TV channels trying to find something that would occupy my mind. I hated thinking back on that day, but I couldn't help it. So much had changed in such a relatively short space of time that my brain still struggled to comprehend it. Sometimes I still woke up thinking 'what will me and Sam do today?' and planning on going to the movies, or shopping in Port Angeles with him. That stung, but it was nothing compared to the days when I would wake up expecting my father to be downstairs, getting ready his fishing gear and heading off with Charlie and Billy. Those days were the hardest.

Again, I blamed myself for his passing. He had been ill for a while. We all knew that-although Harry hadn't accepted it himself- and we tried our best to help him, making him rest and doing things he claimed he was perfectly capable of doing for himself. But if I hadn't been in such a dark hole, if I had just tried to put a brave face on things, maybe I would have, _could_ have, done more for him. I knew he was worried about me, Sam had proposed to Emily on Valentines Day and I had found out from the La Push gossip mill. My parents both knew and they tried to keep it from me, but they didn't factor in me bumping into a certain Ms. Call, La Push's resident gossip, when I went to the store.

I didn't blame them for trying to keep it from me- I was a shell of my former self by then, only venturing out of the house to the shops or to go the my receptionists job at a little hotel in Forks. I had originally taken the year off, saving money so that me and Sam could go to college. Those plans had been blown out of the water but I'd been determined to go on my own, not least to escape the reservation.

I had heard the news; Sam Uley was marrying Emily Young. My heart didn't break once again- it was already broken beyond repair by that point. It still managed to make me retreat into myself even more though- spending most of my free time in my room, never doing anything past staring at the ceiling. If only I hadn't gone to the store that day. If only I hadn't heard about the engagement. If only I had spent more time with my father. If only I had helped him more.

_If only_…

Those two words circled round and round in my head most days. But I could never turn back the clock. My father was gone and no amount of '_if onlys'_ were ever to bring him back. At night I could still hear my mom's frantic screams as she called for the ambulance. I'd rushed downstairs to find my dad keeled over, clutching his arm, gasping for breath.

The funeral had been too much for me. The whole of the Quileute tribe gathered to say goodbye to a man they all respected, their elder, their friend, _my_ dad. I phoned work the day after, saying I wouldn't be back.

Now my life was a monotonous cycle, day in day out. I wouldn't say I was living at the moment- I was barely surviving.

I heard a low rumble and I instantly recognised it as my mother's old sedan pulling into the driveway. I was proud of her; she was slowly beginning to take more and more shifts at the hospital- trying to rebuild what she had left of her life. I wished I could say the same for myself.

"Hi sweetheart," she called, setting her keys down on the small table beside the door, "How's your day been?"

"It's been ok," I replied, standing to help her bring some grocery bags to the kitchen. "How was work?"

"Oh you know, this and that," she waved her hand flippantly then put the kettle on.

She didn't talk about work much anymore, and when she did she never went into details- too much death and devastation.

Not for the first time I wondered how she could go back to working there. Did every death remind her of her husband? Did every heartbroken family remind her of her own? I felt tears starting to prick my eyes, but I held them back, biting my tongue in the process. My mother- so unbelievably strong in dealing with her own grief- did not need to see my tears. Not that she hadn't seen them before.

She frowned, "Are you ok sweetheart? You look like something's troubling you."

"I'm fine mom re…" I started to reply automatically before I remembered what I'd been thinking about earlier. "Actually there is something I want to talk about."

She set two cups of coffee on the kitchen table before motioning me to sit. "What is it?" she asked tentatively.

"It's about Seth," I started, pulling my waist length hair over my shoulders to play with the ends, a nervous habit I'd developed years ago.

She looked cautious as she noticed what I was doing but she replied in a casual tone, "Oh?"

"I'm just worried about him mom. He's moody, he's never home. I know it's been difficult for all of us since…" I hestitated, not wanting to mention my father. We didn't talk about him a lot; the pain was still too fresh for both of us.

She took a sip of coffee and reached across the table and took my free hand, squeezing it gently. "Honey it's ok," she reassured, "We're all going through a pretty tough time at the moment. It still hurts, but I'm so glad to see that you're looking out for your brother," she smiled, causing the tears in her eyes to gently spill over, slowly meandering their way down her cheeks.

"But that's just it mom," I said, tugging at my hair in frustration- I didn't want to get upset, "I'm not looking out for him at all." She pulled her eyebrows down in confusion so I added quietly, "I don't even know who he's spending all his time with. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I've been so wrapped up in myself I didn't even think about it. What if he's up to no good mom?"

I didn't want to believe that Seth would ever get into trouble- he had always been such a good kid- but grief makes a person do strange things. Although I was still so upset by my dads' death I was also becoming increasingly angry. It wasn't always over _why_ it had happened either. Sometimes I was angry at _him_, for leaving us, for promising to always be there for me and then bam, he's gone. And then afterwards I felt such overwhelming guilt- it wasn't my dad's fault he wasn't there, he hadn't broken his promises on purpose like Sam had.

"Leah, I'm sure Seth isn't in any trouble. I just don't think he wants to spend time in the house."

That was understandable; everywhere I looked I was reminded of dad. I couldn't blame him for not wanting to be here. At least he had school to get him out of the house too. But that wasn't the only thing bothering me.

"But _who_ is he hanging around with mom?"

She blanched slightly but I didn't have time to ask her why because she answered, "Well, I know he spends time with Jacob Black, and his two friends, Embry and Quil."

"Aren't they a couple of years older than him?" I frowned. I'd known Jacob for years. I had been good friends with his sisters, and Rachel still called me from time to time. Because of the time I spent at their house growing up I had met Quil and Embry on a few occasions. I didn't really know much about them.

"Oh I'm sure they're fine. Come on, we've known Jacob for years, he's always been a good kid."

"I guess," I mumbled, taking a sip of my coffee.

Her tone lightened then, "While we're on the subject of what my kids are up to." She said, raising her eyebrows slightly.

"Urg, mom, I don't know ok?" We'd had this conversation before.

"But Leah, it's been a while since… I think it's been long enough now." She stuttered over her words. We both knew this was a shaky subject, liable to make either one, or both of us upset.

"I just can't," I whispered, looking down at the table, "Not now. Not yet."

I couldn't hold the tears anymore, and I sniffed as they made their way down my face, splashing onto the table.

She squeezed the hand she was still holding, "I'm sorry. I just hate seeing you like this. I'm worried about you- you don't do anything anymore and I think you'd feel better if you had something to focus on. I know I've been feeling better since I started work again. You know I don't want to upset you." She said softly.

I knew she didn't, but did she not understand that I wasn't as strong as her? I'd never said it out loud but hadn't she noticed? My pride wouldn't let me say it out loud- Sam had made me vulnerable, a position I never wanted to be in again, even if it was with my own mother. So I didn't say anything.

"You had so many things you wanted to do. What about college? You could still go. It'd be a fresh start, away from La Push. Nobody can run from their problems, but getting away might just give you a chance to heal."

"I guess you're right," I sighed.

"Just think about it, honey. That's all I'm asking." She got up, taking our now empty coffee cups to the sink before announcing that she was going to change out of her uniform.

I just sat there, still twirling my hair around my right hand, mulling over what she had said. She was right; I couldn't just stay at home and do nothing, where would that get me? I hadn't wanted to even _move_ during the past couple of months, never mind function like a normal human being, but perhaps that was the problem. If I had kept my job and escaped the house for a while then maybe I wouldn't feel like this right now. Maybe I'd be on my way to healing myself.

But what about college? Did I still want to go? There were two reasons why I'd decided to go to college without Sam. The first one was to show him that I would not be beaten, I was going to do something with my life. After he'd disappeared for two weeks he'd insisted he didn't want to go to college anymore, I didn't understand at the time- I still don't- but I'd agreed that I wouldn't go either. After he left me I thought I'd go to spite him. I was still angry at him now, fuming even- to the point where my hands would shake sometimes- but I didn't have enough fight left in me to do something out of revenge.

The other reason to go to college was simple; I wanted to escape the reservation. When I'd been planning with Sam we had decided that we would always come back, using our skills in the community we'd grown up in. We hadn't used it as an excuse to escape, like Rachel Black had done; we hadn't wanted to. But that was then, this is now. Did I want to escapes La Push now? Definitely. Not only did I have constant reminders of both my dad and Sam littered throughout the tiny village- from the tree where me and Sam carved our initials, to the tribal office where my dad used to tell me the tribes stories and show me the paintings- but also the looks from all its residents. Looks of pity for the girl who had been dumped. Looks of accusation from those who thought I must have done something horrible to good old Sam Uley to warrant such a breakup. The looks of sympathy or devastation for the girl who'd lost her father. I didn't want their looks, and I didn't need their whispered comments and I realised, with great surprise at the determination behind the thought, I wanted and I _needed_ out.

I had made my decision. I would leave La Push. I would leave my childhood home, the only place I had ever known- and I wasn't sure I'd ever come back.

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A/N: Okay, so this chapter and the next couple are set about a month before Eclipse begins. I'm trying to stay as close to the books as possible, so this story isn't particularly a Blackwater fic. I've listed Jacob as a main character onl because for the majority of the story the only information the pack gains is when Jacob has seen Bella, so he's pretty central to the story. I'm intending to carry this on until the Eclipse epilogue and by that stage Leah and Jacob hate each other and I want to explore how they get to that stage.

Anyway, I'm hoping to upload the next chapter in a couple of days. I'll stop talking now, hope you enjoyed.


	2. 2 Old Friend

It had been two days since I'd made up my mind to get out of La Push. It couldn't happen straight away. I still had my acceptance to Washington State University, but I hadn't saved up nearly enough money. Still, I'd reasoned, I had until September to save up. I phoned the manager of the Dew Drop Inn then next day, asking if I could have my old job back.

"I'm sorry hun," Wendy had said, "We hired someone else. I can pass you details on to the owner; see if he has anything else for you?"

I'd thanked her and agreed to passing on my name and number. She promised she'd put in a good word and get back to me. That had been yesterday morning and I'd heard nothing from her since.

"Maybe the boss wasn't in." Seth offered after I'd filled him in. I hadn't told anyone about my _exact _plans, mom and Seth didn't know about my plans to go to college, they simply thought I wanted to get out of the house. Seemingly happy that I was doing something, they didn't question me further.

"I doubt it." I grumbled, plating up the lasagne I had made for dinner before setting it down on the table. "Dinner's ready." I called through to the lounge.

Seth was already half way through his double portion when my mom and Billy joined us. He was eating so much nowadays, I wondered where he was putting it- sure he'd grown tall but he was still rake thin. I assessed him, careful to hide my gaze, and I was surprised to see that he wasn't as gangly as I remembered. He was still thin, but as he shovelled the food towards his mouth like it would disappear any second I noticed the muscles that were moving in his arm as he did so. Where had they come from?

I wondered what could be sparking this change in him. Perhaps he was bulking up with his new friends, taking out his aggression on a punching bag. At least I hoped it was a punching bag, and not a person. I scolded myself; Seth would never do that- no matter what his problems were. I knew that Jacob liked to work on cars, my dad had helped him build the garage in his garden a few years ago, under the proviso that Seth could also use it if he ever got into cars because _'there's no bloody way I'm building another one' _he'd said. I had noticed how big Jacob had gotten- it was difficult not to- perhaps he was no longer interested in cars and his garage was now a mini-gym. If Seth was trying to bulk up it would certainly explain the food consumption. I didn't really see a problem with his new hobby, as long as he wasn't using steroids.

I'd have to find out if they were. Not only for Seth, but Billy needed to know if his son was on drugs. I wondered how I would find out. Would I have to snoop in Seth's room? Probably. Would I have to follow them around the rez or stakeout the garage? I sincerely hoped not but, I reasoned, if I couldn't find any evidence in his room then I'd definitely consider it.

We ate mostly in companionable silence, only interrupted when someone asked for the salt, or more bread, or when Seth scraped his chair back to help himself to seconds and then thirds. Billy was fast becoming a constant fixture in our home and I was touched that he was looking out for his best friends' wife; Sue needed a friend right now. Charlie, dads other best friend would stop by from time to time, but he was having trouble with his daughter. Apparently she had run off for three days, had been caught riding motorcycles and now she was grounded, meaning Charlie had to be home in order to keep an eye on her. I sometimes wished she lived on the reservation; she'd give the rumour mill so much gossip that my problems would be all but forgotten.

I remembered Bella. I had seen her on the beach one day flirting with Jacob. I'd been with Sam when we'd bumped into Jacob, Jessica and a few others heading down to the beach. We'd tagged along and met up with some students from Fork's High. I knew that Charlie's daughter was moving back to Washington, he hadn't shut up about it since he'd found out. I had been pleased for him, he sometimes seemed lonely, and I recognised her straight away. I had only met her once before but her eyes were exactly the same shade of brown as her fathers'.

The first time I had met her I was about ten, and I think she was a year or so younger than me. My dad, Charlie and Billy had planned a fishing trip and, because Charlie would have to bring Bella, Billy decided to bring the twins and my dad decided to bring me.

When Billy pulled up at my house, fishing gear in the back, they all piled into my house to have lunch before we set off. But of course me being stubborn I'd put my foot down, claiming that fishing was '_the worst thing in the world. I don't know how you managed to get them'_ I'd pointed at the three girls eating their sandwiches quietly, _'to go but I'm not.' _I'd actually crossed my arms and stamped my foot. My dad had been annoyed but Billy insisted that if I didn't want to go that much then he should let me stay with Sue and Seth.

I remembered Bella as being a shy kind of girl, much more like Rebecca and Rachel. Well actually, mostly Rebecca- Rachel was definitely the more outgoing of the two. It's funny how Rebecca ended up running away with a surfer-well not running away, _marrying_ a surfer- and Rachel had turned into a bookworm. I'd have put money on it being the other way around. Bella didn't strike me as the type to ride motorbikes and run off on a whim, but then she'd been shamelessly flirting with Jacob that day on the beach, maybe she had changed while growing up. Charlie had mentioned that she lived in Phoenix, perhaps living in a big city would do that to a person, I wouldn't know.

"So Leah, have you heard back from Wendy at all?" my mom asked.

"Hmm?" I questioned, snapping out of my thoughts, "Oh, no I'm still waiting. I think I'll give her a call tomorrow."

"Wendy?" Billy asked.

"Leah's old boss at the motel." My mom supplied.

Turning to face me, Billy asked, "Are you getting your old job back?"

"I hope so," I replied politely.

It was nice that Billy showed an interest in us. He would spend most of his time with Sue but could be with Seth for hours sometimes, talking about god knows what. I supposed it was because he understood what we were going through, he'd also lost a loved one- he'd lost Sarah. I swallowed, trying to block the memories of her- she been such a wonderful woman- and the pain I felt whenever Rachel or Rebecca got upset. It was hard to deal with at the time; although I missed her too, I knew nothing of what it was like to lose a parent. Now that I did understand it still didn't make it any easier. At least I was nineteen, if only for a few more days- the twins had been thirteen and Jacob had been nine- I couldn't imagine the pain that brought.

"Well…that's good I suppose." Billy responded.

"Yeah, hopefully they'll have something for me, I don't think many other places are hiring at the moment."

He pondered this for a minute, "Well let me know if you're stuck. I could always ask Charlie to ask around for you in Fork's."

"Thanks Billy." I smiled.

"No problem."

Seth finished his dinner and went to watch TV while the rest of us finished our dinner. I felt better after what Billy had said, Charlie was the police chief, and knew just about everyone in town, he'd definitely be able to help if I needed it.

After dinner Billy went home and I washed up the dishes while my mom joined Seth on the couch. I smiled; it was good to see them spending time together. I could truly appreciate Seth's size as he sat next her, she looked so tiny. Sue was a short woman anyway and Harry hadn't been above average- it made me wonder how they could have tall kids. Seth was probably over six foot now and I was around five foot nine, maybe ten. I didn't know, I hadn't measured myself in years. I knew that guys were meant to stop growing when they reached twenty but I always thought that girls stopped around eighteen. I hadn't. When I finished school I had been around five foot five but here I was, two days away from turning twenty and I hadn't stopped yet. Hopefully I would soon; I didn't want to stand out.

Later, I was reading through an old information pack on Washington State that I'd dug up from under my bed when someone tapped on the door. I quickly stuffed the papers under my mattress before inviting them in.

My mom poked her head round the doorframe, extending her hand towards me, "It's Rachel," she whispered.

"Thanks." I mouthed, taking the phone from her hand. I had only spoken to Rachel once since my dad had died. She'd found out too late to attend the funeral and had phoned to offer her condolences. Rebecca had done the same. I knew her twin couldn't afford the plane tickets to come home, but I suspected Rachel wouldn't have come, even if she'd known. I couldn't blame her- they'd both escaped La Push at the first opportunity, they already associated it with death, she didn't need to come back to be reminded of it.

I sat back down on my bed and held the phone up to my ear, "Rachel," I breathed, excitement coloring my tone, "I haven't spoken to you in ages."

"Yeah… I umm… I'm sorry about that," she said hesitated, "I wanted to give you some time."

I could hear the guilt in her voice.

"Rachel, it's fine. Honestly, I get why."

"You do?"

"Yeah, it must be awkward for you," I reassured. She stayed silent so I continued, "How are you doing anyway?"

"I don't care about _me_, Leah. How have _you_ been doing?"

"I'm surviving." I said quietly, hoping she wouldn't detect how close I was to tears, and how my voice had cracked.

"Oh Leah." She said softly and I let the first sob out. "I'm so sorry, I should have been there for you when… when… I should have just bloody been there for you!" she laughed in an obvious attempt to cover the fact that she was also crying- over her guilt, over my dad, or over her mom, I wasn't sure.

I managed to get my sobs under control, "You don't need to feel bad, Rachel."

"Yes I do. I should have been there for you. I couldn't believe it when dad told me. Especially after all you've been through."

"Pah!" I exclaimed, "Not to be mean, but it's not like you could have helped with any of it anyway."

"How is the muffin baking bitch from hell?"

"I'm sure she's fine," I said, laughing with her now that my tears had stopped. Rachel always knew how to put a smile on my face, "I haven't seen her since the funeral."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

Rachel had been livid when she'd found out about Sam and Emily, possibly more so than me- once I'd gone through the upset stage and straight into anger. Rachel remembered Emily from when she used to come down from Makah to see me. Rachel simply couldn't believe that the sweet girl who'd taught us all to bake had run off with my ex. We were both positive she had been seeing him before we'd split up but of course we had no proof.

Regardless, I still hated Emily. I wasn't quite as vengeful as Rachel was- I used to be. But living in the same small town as someone you hated beyond reason was tough work, like having to dream up comments to make every time you saw them, and I simply didn't have the energy to put up a fight anymore, although I still wouldn't speak to her. Rachel, on the other hand, seemed to have enough hateful energy for the both of us, probably because she lived so far away, never having an outlet for her built up anger.

"So…" she began awkwardly, "have you been up to much?"

I knew she was really asking _'have you left the house at all?' _but rather than responded to the implied question I simply answered the one that she'd asked, "Yes actually, but you have to promise to keep it quiet, you're the first person to know." I said lowering my voice, just in case anyone was listening in, which I doubted.

She let out a pealing laugh that made me jump.

"What?"

She giggled, "Sorry, I was making the scouts honour sign with my hand and I realised you wouldn't be able to see it."

I laughed too, stretching back across my bed, "I'm coming to join you." I announced.

Clearly confused she asked, "What?"

"At Washington State. I've decided to go in the Fall like I planned before…well before all the crap."

"Oh."

That was not the response I'd been expecting. Squealing and cheering, yes. A very flat, almost disappointed '_oh_', most definitely not. Did she not want me to go? Why would that be? And then I realised; University was _her_ thing, _her_ way out, _her_ new life, obviously La Push and her friends here didn't fit into that.

She noticed my silence and quickly said, "Whatever you're thinking, stop. It has nothing to do with me not wanting you here," could she read my mind now?, "and I think it's great that you're still considering college, I really do."

"Then what is it?" I asked curtly.

"Oh don't be like that, Leah. It's just that I've been taking double courses. I'm going to be graduating this summer. You'll be starting just as I'm ending."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I hadn't realised 'til now just how much I was looking forward to not only _seeing_ Rachel again after all this time, but also sharing the experience with her. I was sorely in need of a good friend, any friend actually, and who better than Rachel? A girl who could not only empathise with my pain, but also understand it. Sure, she hadn't been dumped by her boyfriend for her cousin, but although it still horribly painful, losing Sam didn't hold a torch to the pain of permanently losing my father. Rachel knew what it was like to lose a parent and she'd been as close to Sarah and I had been to my dad.

Did I still do it without her there? Did I _still_ want to? Yes, and yes. It was time for me to leave, time for me to move on. I couldn't possibly heal if I stayed here, and I'd never needed anyone to hold my hand through things before, I certainly wasn't going to start now.

"It's ok," I said, fanning my hair behind me, turning most of my bed raven black as it covered my purple bedspread, "I'll just have to find some new friends, much cooler ones."

"Good luck with that cheeky!" she laughed before turning serious, "Do you want the good news?"

"Yes. I'm sorely in need of some good news."

"I'm coming home at the beginning of the summer," I squealed, too excited to contain it, "Don't get too excited. It's only going to be for three weeks, I think. I'm going to talk to Billy about it soon."

I didn't want to make her return a big deal, knowing she'd get nervous, so I snorted, "If you can't reach Billy at your house just try here. He rarely leaves."

"Awww, leave my old man alone," she chided playfully, "How are things in La Push?"

I quickly filled her in on Seth's strange behaviour, making sure to include details about Jacob where I could. I didn't want to worry her but I knew she'd take my concerns more seriously if she was aware her own brother was involved.

"Hmm," she pondered, "I'll have a talk with Billy when I call him next. I bet he knows what's going on, Jake tells him everything."

We continued talking and she wished me a happy birthday for Monday. She was disappointed to hear I wouldn't be celebrating, but even though I'd been feeling a bit more positive these last few days, I really wasn't in the mood for a party, or enjoying myself in general. My mom had protested but she soon caved when she realised how serious I was, she had even taken on a shift at work after I promised her it would be fine. It was the first birthday any of us had had since my dad passed, no one wanted to be home on the day.

After a while we hung up. I was so happy that Rachel was coming to visit. Not only would I finally get to see her, but it would be good for _her_ too- I knew she was trying to hide her demons away on the rez, but she had to face them sooner or later. I also felt better knowing that she was as concerned about Seth and Jacob as I was, despite our parents being blasé about it. I slept well that night, knowing that things were changing, hoping they were for the better.

I woke the next morning, feeling lighter than I had done for a long time. It felt as though the weight of the world, which had been on my shoulders for so long- crushing me- was slowly starting to lift. I knew that I would never be able to escape its burden- my father was never coming back, Sam could not get into a time machine and undo what he did- but now that pieces had started to lift I hoped I might be left with a manageable chunk, like Australia- if we were sticking to the analogy.

I stood up, stretching my muscles, and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to get out the huge knots that had formed overnight. In my haste to get to sleep after my long conversation with Rachel I'd completely forgotten to braid my hair before bed, a big no no when you're hair's as long as mine.

I gave up; deciding that only copious amount of conditioner would do the trick. I showered quickly and dressed. Remembering that I was supposed to phone Wendy I made my way downstairs to get the phone. Only when I got downstairs I realised that I had left the phone in my room. I groaned, turning around to make my way back up stairs something caught my eye out the front window.

I walked over to have a look outside and, to my horror, quickly spotted Seth talking to Sam on the sidewalk. Why was he talking to him? I knew he was mad at Sam, and wanted to defend me- he'd said it countless times before dad died- but I hoped he didn't try anything stupid. Was that why he was bulking up? To take on Sam. Sam was _built _though-there was no way Seth would be able to fight him.

I readjusted so that I was standing to the right of the window, not wanting to be seen but able to see them, plus I was closer to the door, in case anything did happen. I didn't believe Sam would fight Seth if he was given the choice, but surely he would defend himself?

"…naw, man. It's cool. She should still be asleep." Seth said. He didn't sound angry, in fact he sounded friendly. And was he talking about me? I strained, my ear almost to the glass, trying to listen in to Sam's reply.

"Yeah sorry, Seth. It just wouldn't be good for her to see me talking to you."

He snorted, "You got that right. It's hard not telling her though. I used to share everything with her."

Sam turned abruptly serious, "You know you can't tell her."

Seth sighed, and from my position I could just see his shoulders slump, "Yeah. It's not just that though. The past couple of days she's been asking questions."

"What questions?" Sam demanded.

Couldn't I ask my brother questions now? Who was he to be poking his nose into _my_ business? He'd lost that right long ago.

"Well she keeps wanting to know who I'm out with. I told her about Jacob, Quil and Embry, but it's getting harder not to mention you all the time," Seth tone turned serious. He lowered his voice and I had to move in full view of the window to make out what he was saying, "Sam, if she finds out I've been spending time with you, she's going to flip."

"WHAT?" I cried, forgetting that I wasn't supposed to be here, witnessing this.

How could he? My _brother_, my own flesh and blood! Wasn't he the one, just a few months ago who I'd had to convince not to punch Sam in the face. My mind-mannered, sweet tempered baby brother had threatened to hit him, just to make me feel better. And now, now he was spending his time with him!

Both their heads snapped up, both looking at me with tortured, guilty expressions.

Seth took a step towards the house.

"DON'T!" I screamed, holding my hands up in the air, "DON'T COME NEAR ME."

I turned and darted up the stairs, pleased that I had managed to keep my gut wrenching sobs inside until I reached my room and slammed the door.

* * *

AN: So, what did you think?

I'm hoping to have the next chapter up in a couple of days, it's an eventful one!


	3. 3 Snapped

I stayed in my room all day. It may have been petty, it was definitely childish, but I didn't care. No matter how many times Seth knocked, or how many times he begged and pleaded- telling me just how sorry he was- I refused to unlock the door. Given his new body I was pretty sure he could break the lock if he wanted but he knew better than to try; I'd kill him.

How could he betray me like that? I knew Sam had a little fan club going on- they probably all hated me- but I never thought Seth would be a part of it.

I was beginning to wonder if he was on drugs. There was no other explanation that I could come up with that made sense. It would certainly explain his moods, his appetite, and maybe even his muscles. I know that when Sam disappeared everyone had assumed he was on drugs, but I knew better than that. Sam would have never have done such a thing. But now, I'm not so sure.

At the time I thought I knew Sam- it's only clear to me now that I obviously didn't. Sam had been a caring, loving boyfriend- I though he would never leave me- but I was wrong. And then I thought back to Emily. Sweet Emily, who had always been good and fair, she wouldn't put up with a drug user, surely? Yes, she was a boyfriend stealer, and obviously wasn't as sweet as I'd first thought – but she wouldn't be with Sam if he was on drugs. She wouldn't stand by him when he pushed those drugs on children. Would she?

My hands trembled in my lap as I thought of the possibilities. Sam, Seth, Jacob, Quil, Embry, were they all drug users? What had they been taking? There were two others who'd been spending their time with Sam too- who were they? I vaguely remembered seeing their faces at school but they weren't in the same grade, I didn't know them. I didn't know if they were the sort to get into trouble.

How could this happen? Was this my fault? If Seth _had_ been taking drugs and I hadn't noticed then yes, it was my fault. I should have noticed sooner. It was my responsibility to look out for him and I'd failed. Spectacularly.

I was still far too angry with Seth to speak to him about it- angry for being so stupid and angry for speaking to Sam in the first place. I resolved that I would do my best to get to the bottom of this tomorrow; I would not fail my brother ever again.

I woke the next morning sombre, the weight of the world placed firmly back on my shoulders. I had fallen asleep early, before seven, and now I felt groggy too.

Twenty years. Twenty years today that I had been on this earth and what did I have to show for it? A junkie brother and mom. A mom who hadn't even noticed her son was in trouble. That wasn't fair, I scolded myself, my mom worked damned hard. At the hospital, as a mom, at just keeping it all together, my mom worked at all of it despite the hell she must be going through. Who was I to judge? We were all too wrapped up in our individual grief; we needed to start looking out for each other.

I concentrated on that thought as I showered. I didn't want to think of the significance of the day. My birthdays had always been filled with happy memories- parties, cake, presents, and my family- but I didn't want that this year. The day seemed empty without my dad there and I knew that a celebration would be hollow; a pathetic attempt to mask how we were all truly feeling. So I'd officially cancelled it this year. Mom hadn't been happy to say the least, she insisted that we should mark it in some way, so I'd suggested that we all go and visit dads' grave together. We were going this afternoon when mom got back from work.

I dressed in my favourite pair of skinny jeans and a navy sweater- judging by the clouds it would be cold out today. I went downstairs, thinking about taking a walk after lunch to break up the day. I was glad that Seth had left early this morning; I really didn't want to face him. I heard the mailbox being opened and closed and made my way outside. There was sure to be some family members who'd sent a card despite my protests and it would be easier to just open them now rather than wait until later.

I had been right; there were two brightly colored envelopes tucked in amongst the junk mail. I easily recognised the handwriting on the first and tore it open quickly, still standing on the sidewalk.

'To Leah,

Happy birthday sweetheart,

If there's anything you need you know where to find us,

Lots of love,

Amanda, Steve, Hannah, Claire and bump xxx'

I smiled as I read the card from Emily's sister. Amanda hadn't taken sides when Emily started going out with Sam, and I didn't want her to. Emily was her sister; I didn't expect her to choose. She was five years older than us but had always been so nice to me and Emily while we were growing up. It was hard to think that Amanda had been my age when she'd had Hannah. Not that I didn't want kids- I couldn't wait for the day I would become a mother- but I definitely felt too young. I felt like crying as it dawned on me that my future children would never get to know their grandfather.

I quickly moved on to the second envelope. I flipped it over to see who it was from but it was blank. Shrugging, I swiftly tore an opening and removed the card.

'Leah,

Happy birthday,

Love Emily and Sam x'

I started shaking violently. Why had they sent this? Didn't they realise it was better for me- easier- if they just left me alone? How was I ever supposed to move on when they kept trying to be a part of my life? Emily had tried, on numerous occasions, to get me to go over to her house, or take a walk, or go to the movies. Every time I answered no- I didn't want to have anything to do with them. I wasn't trying to be malicious; I was _trying_ to protect myself. I didn't understand how either of them could possibly think that we could ever be friends again- wasn't that just trying to have your cake and eat it too?

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I screwed up the card and put it in the trash. Placing the lid back on, I looked up and my eyes met Sam's. He was stood down the street, his feet facing towards the direction of his house while his torso twisted towards me.

Judging by the blank envelope, I assumed that he'd just put the card in the mailbox himself, he obviously wasn't expecting me to find it until he was long gone. My face must have betrayed my horror as he turned to face me fully, taking tentative steps in my direction. I was frozen to the spot, too angry and too upset to think straight.

"Leah." He said gently, almost in a questioning tone.

I couldn't respond. The anger was bubbling up inside me; it felt like I was on fire. Every step he made towards me made it intensify, and I couldn't even ask him to stop. I was aware that I was shaking, frighteningly so –the mail I had been clutching so tightly was now scattered at my feet as it had been violently shaken from my grasp- but I couldn't stop.

"Leah?" he sounded alarmed, quickening his pace until he was stood right in front of me, and I knew then that I looked as bad as I felt.

It felt like hot knives were being plunged into my body. A small part of my brain was desperately wondering what was happening to me- but the larger part was focused solely on the incredible pain. I tried to stop the shaking, embarrassed that I having such a violent reaction, but the simple birthday card had been the last straw. I'd snapped.

"Oh my god, LEAH!" He yelled, panic written all over his face. Maybe I was losing my mind, it certainly felt like it.

In a move so swift I barely recognised it Sam had grabbed the tops of my arms, lifting me a good foot off the ground with incredible ease. My shaking intensified as he ran towards the tree line.

I didn't have time to wonder why he hadn't taken me into the house, I could hear screaming. Loud, blood-curdling, screaming and I was terrified to realise that it was coming from me.

"Shhh. Shhh. It's ok." He soothed in a strained voice, stopping once we were in the cover of the woods and setting me down. I couldn't get my balance and I doubled over in pain, falling to the forest floor where I writhed in agony.

He hunched over me, terror clearly evident on his beautiful face, "This shouldn't be happening," he mumbled, "Leah, are you ok? LEAH? LEE-LEE?"

That did it. At the sound of his old pet name for me escaping his lips, hot fire shot up and down my back, making my spine tingle and my shakes increase to a point where I swear I could hear my bones rattling. How dare he? He had no right to call me that, not anymore.

I didn't have time to focus on it though. My limbs started to stretch and distort, the ground around me seemed to get further away. My clothes felt tight, they started to rip. I wasn't angry anymore; I was scared, terrified even. What the hell was happening to me? So suddenly that I didn't notice how it had happened, the fire stopped. I leapt to my feet, wanting to get away from Sam as quickly as possible, but it felt different, weird.

I was looking down at Sam- that wasn't right; he was so much taller than me. He darted behind a tree and a few seconds later a massive jet black animal appeared. It looked like a wolf, but it was much too big, the size of a horse.

I screamed but it didn't sound like the ones I had made just a few seconds earlier. It was strangled, gargled somehow. I sounded more like an animal than a human. Where had Sam gone? What the _hell_ was this… this thing in front of me?

'_Leah. Leah it's ok. Don't panic. Everything's going to be fine.' _It was Sam's voice, but it was in my head. Had I finally gone completely crazy, I must have done.

'_You're not crazy.'_ He responded to my thoughts calmly.

I looked into the black wolf's eyes, eyes that were unmistakably Sam's.

'_Shit is that… Leah?'_

'_LEAH?'_

I could hear more voices in my head now, but I couldn't distinguish them. I'd really have to be crazy to be hearing voices in my head that I didn't even recognise.

'_It's Leah.'_ Sam thought solemnly.

'_Holy crap! That's not meant to happen.'_

I was confused, what's not meant to happen?

'_You being…being this.' _One of the voices exclaimed.

'_Paul, Jacob, that's enough, let her adjust.'_

The voices were quiet then. Sam looked towards the forest floor. I could still hear all three of them in the back of my head but they were no longer shouting- more like they were muttering to themselves.

'_Can't believe it.'_

'_Not meant to happen.' _

'_The legends don't mention this.'_

The legends don't mention what? What exactly was happening? What the hell was I? I could see the woods flying by from two different perspectives as Paul and Jacob ran to join us. Then, suddenly, through either Jacob or Paul's eyes, two wolves facing each other came into view. One was impossibly huge and completely midnight black. The other was much smaller, not gangly but petite in comparison, with very shaggy light grey fur. So light that the face was creamy, almost white. Was that _me_?

'_Yes.'_ Sam thought, his head still hung low.

'_Ok, somebody explain what is happening to me, right NOW!_' I yelled mentally.

I looked between the three wolves now gathered around me. The two new arrivals were also much taller than me, one a reddish brown, the other dark silver.

They calmly explained, one by one, what had happened. My horror grew exponentially with each thought. I was a wolf, a werewolf. Vampires existed; we were made to kill them. There was a coven of them and we had a treaty with them. I wouldn't have believed it, and would have been positively adamant that I was certifiably insane, but I could see it all through their thoughts and memories.

I could see Old Quil explaining to Sam what he was. I could see when he'd first phased, those two terrifying weeks when he couldn't shift back.

'_I'm going to be like_ this _for two weeks?'_ I exclaimed.

'_Oh no, no Leah. __I couldn't calm down enough to phase back. I didn't know what I was at the time.'_

'_Don't worry__. We'll help you when we've finished explaining.'_ Jacob thought softly. I could tell now that he was the reddish wolf, almost entirely russet colored. He was nice enough in his thoughts, but I could detect a bitterness in his 'voice' that hadn't been there before. The little Jacob Black I knew as a child had not been bitter, and I wondered if it was being like this that had made him that way.

Paul continued on his 'patrol', as they called it, while Sam finished the story. There was a pack of us, all descended from Taha Aki, like in the old stories I had so often heard as a child. I was the eighth to phase. I caught Jacob thinking that I was only girl to ever phase.

'_Wait! WHAT? I'm the on__ly girl? Ever? I'm the freak amongst freaks.' _

Sam visibly and mentally winced, _'You're not a freak, Leah. But yes, you are the only female to ever change.' _He shot a reproachful look at Jacob.

I processed that, ignoring their thoughts completely. Not only was I now some mythical creature, a _werewolf_- I cringed at the word- but I was the only girl. The only one of my kind. I had been wondering for so long what was wrong with me- everything kept going wrong, bad things kept happening and I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault. That I had done something, that I wasn't good enough, that there was something different about me. Could I go back? Could I change this? Could I stop this from happening?

It was quiet for a minute, apart from Paul thinking about food- clearly trying to block our conversation, then, _'There's no way of stopping it.'_ Jacob thought quietly, _'I've tried.'_

I saw a flash in his mind, a memory, of him and Bella Swan laughing in his garage. At the same time I caught a glimpse of Emily's face in Sam's mind, a feeling of guilt washing from him through me.

Instinctively I growled, the low rumble rising from my chest, reverberating on the trees around us as I bared my teeth. Did I have to be in his head? Did I have to hear his thoughts? I didn't want to see him thinking about Emily, I had been put through enough. Couldn't he just turn his thoughts off?

'_Unfortunately no,'_ Jacob laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

'_Yeah__ and then there's this thing called im…' _

Paul was quickly cut off by Sam, _'Stop.'_ He ordered, _'I want to explain that to her myself.'_

Paul grumbled but continued on his way, quickly changing his thoughts to something else. Jacob did the same. I wanted to hear what Paul was about to say. Why were they listening to Sam?

'_Because Sam is the Alpha.'_ Jacob answered.

'_Alpha?' _

'_Yeah, he's in charge. His orders have to be followed. Not that he can order us to think different thoughts but__, just now, we listened out of respect and…'_ I stopped listening to Jacob as he prattled on, his mind filled with all the times Sam had ordered a pack member. It was impossible to resist an Alpha command. Not only would I have to put up with _Sam_, of all people, in my head, but I had to follow him. I had to do as _he_ said and listen to _his_ commands. I was instantly livid.

'I'm sorry.' He thought quietly.

'_Sorry? You're sorry Sam. __What are you sorry for exactly, hmm? Sorry for leaving me? Sorry for not caring? Sorry for shacking up with my cousin weeks later? Sorry for breaking my heart and all your promises? Sorry for digging the knife in even further by still trying to be a part of my life? Sorry for what I am now, this… this monster? Or are you sorry that on top of all of that, all of what I've been through, that I now have to follow you around, like a little lost puppy_?

'_Well…I'm going to__ go and join Paul,'_ Jacob raced through the trees, out of sight.

'_I'm thinking of phasing back, this is majorly awkward.'_ Paul retorted.

Sam looked up, meeting my hard stare with one of pity, _'I'm sorry for _all_ of it. So sorry.'_

'_Save it, Sam. You__r apologies mean nothing, because they change nothing,' _reading his thoughts I threatened:_ 'And don't you dare pity me, I don't need it, and I certainly don't want it.' _

'_Hate to interrupt Sam,' _Jacob butted in,_ 'but it's coming up to shift change. The guys'll be here soon, don't you think you should try and get her to phase back? You know, before she's got to share her head with loads of us.'_

'_Yeah and Seth'll freak when he realises its Leah!' _Paul scoffed.

'_Shut up, Paul' _Sam groaned.

Wait, Seth! Seth's a wolf? No wonder he'd been out of the house so much. Did my mom know?

'_Yes. All the elders know about the secret.'_

I pondered what Sam had thought. My mom knew, she knew all this time and hadn't told me. I guess I could understand why- if it wasn't for the fact that I had four paws right now I would have never have believed her anyway. I was relived to know that it hadn't been that she was burying her head in the sand, ignoring Seth's problems, and thankful that Seth wasn't involved in drugs. I scoffed, how could I think that being a wolf and chasing down vampires was any better than taking drugs? It already felt like a bad LSD trip.

I was still fuming though, angry at what I was, furious at the fact that I had to follow Sam, be in his head too. In fact, I was just plain angry at life,_ my_ life. I was about to escape, about to try and move on, to recover and better myself. How was I supposed to do all that now?

If a wolf could look forlorn then Sam certainly looked like that now, _'We should probably try and get you to phase back. I'll talk you through it.'_

'_Didn't you say that you had to be calm to phase back?' _

'_Yes,' _he answered, confused.

'_Well that's not going to happen,' _I did the mental equivalent of crossing my arms. _'There's no way in hell I'm going to be able to calm down.' _

'_I'm sure we'll get you there soon, Leah. Usually it takes a couple of hours.' _

I huffed in response.

* * *

I had been right- I couldn't calm down enough to phase back. No matter how much I tried to block out my thoughts, my problems still filtered through.

Sam had told Jacob to tell the rest of the pack not to phase when it came to switching shifts. He told him not to tell them why- knowing that they'd probably _all_ phase, fascinated that a girl had joined their ranks. Jacob had disappeared from my mind for five minutes before returning and telling Sam that they'd promised they wouldn't phase and Jacob and Paul continued patrolling the area surrounding La Push. They couldn't stop, apparently there was a red-headed vampire, Victoria, who kept appearing, and the whole pack had been on high alert for months.

We had gone a bit further into the woods. I had sat down, laying my head in my hands- paws- while Sam sat next to me, trying to send calming thoughts. Nothing was working. Eventually Jacob and Paul got tired, they'd both been out much longer than intended. Sam finally agreed to let them phase back, admitting that I wasn't going to be able to anytime soon, and now we were doing the patrol ourselves.

Slowly, together we made wide circles around the reservation, Sam trying to distract me by showing me the usual routes they patrolled, the shift cycles, basically anything he could think of to calm me. Our heads were quiet but I still loathed even having just him in my mind.

'_I can't do this,'_ I groaned for the sixth time.

Sam was firm, _'Yes you can. Just try to relax.'_

'_Bit difficult when you're in my head Sam.'_ I retorted, _'I feel like I have a free ticket to the Emily show.'_

'_Sorry,' _he mumbled, focusing on how to tracks scents to distract me.

The sky was beginning to darken and I realised that I'd been like this for most of the day. Paul phased in once but after five minutes he disappeared again. Apparently Quil had been taunting him and he lost his temper. Thankfully no one else phased with him- I couldn't face them yet- but it alarmed me to discover that my emotions could trigger phasing. With _my_ temper I was screwed.

Not long after the sun set entirely I felt a shimmer in the air, one that I was quickly associating with one of the pack shifting, and Jacob was once again in my head.

'_How's it coming?' _

Sam sighed,_ 'Slow.'_

'_You should take a break Sam. Weren't you patrolling most of the night?' _he asked.

'_Yeah__, but it's fine.'_

'_No it's not. Go and get some food and rest, I'll take over.' _

The prospect of having Sam out of my head sounded fantastic.

'_I guess that settles it,'_ he sighed, _'I'll head home for a couple of hours.' _

Sam quickly flicked through what we had been doing with Jacob, allowing him to catch up to where we were, somewhere near Strawberry Bay, before running towards Emily's house, thinking of dinner as he went. I was starting to get really hungry myself.

'_It's a wolf thing,'_ he thought, appearing at my side.

'_What is?'_

'_The hunger. Trust me, unless you eat a truck load of food you'll never feel full.'_

'_Great,'_ I muttered sarcastically.

'_It's not all bad.'_ He quickly reassured.

It seemed it. Mind reading, werewolves, vampires, constantly hungry, what could possibly be good about this?

'_The speed,'_ he suggested.

I pondered that. When it just me and Sam we had walked, or trotted, around and we'd still been quicker than humans- it was weird to think of humans being a different species. How fast could I run in this form?

'_Wanna try?'_ he offered.

'_Why not.' _

Jacob quickly darted into the trees ahead of me. My new eyesight allowed me to follow his movements easily and I couldn't believe how fast he was going. I raced after him, my paws pounding into the damp earth beneath me. It was an odd sensation- we were flying through the trees and yet, at the same time, I could see every leaf, every crag and crevice in the bark in great detail.

I could feel that I wasn't running as fast as I could but I caught up to Jacob easily and we continued to head north, towards La Push at the same pace.

'_Thank you by the way.'_

'_For what?'_ he asked.

'_Getting Sam out of my head.' _

He barked a laugh,_ 'You're welcome. I kind of guessed you wouldn't be able to phase back with him here. Don't know why he bothered trying.'_

I laughed,_ 'Me either.' _

The forest was becoming more familiar and I knew we were getting close to La Push. Soon enough we entered the patch of forest behind my house and Jacob stopped.

'_You seem calmer now, why don't you try and phase back?'_

Sam had managed to show me earlier how to draw in the heat, and find my center- as he'd put it. He'd managed to stay phased while doing so, a feat Paul and Jacob had been amazed with.

Taking Jacob's advice I focused, concentrating on staying calm, being aware of my body and then- suddenly- I was face down on the forest floor. I sat up, brushing the dirt from my arms and abruptly screamed. I was naked.

Jacob phased back in front of me as I desperately tried to cover myself. He reached down, quickly grabbing something by his leg and tossed it to me.

He swiftly tugged on some sweatpants before chuckling, "Well, lucky for you I actually wore a t-shirt today."

I pulled the t-shirt on as fast as I could as Jacob, his back turned towards me, explained that or clothes shred when we phase out of them. I was mortified, not only was I a giant dog, but I was now prone to be naked around a pack of boys. Could my life get any worse?

I wretched myself from the ground, tugging furiously at the hem of Jacob's t-shirt as I ran towards my house at a speed I had not been capable of this morning. I raced to the back door, relived that it was unlocked, and slammed it closed behind me. I didn't care if Jacob had been following me; I needed to be alone.

Unfortunately my mom hadn't got the memo.

"Oh honey," She exclaimed softly, standing up from the kitchen table. "Sam called."

She looked distraught. It must have been at least an hour since Sam had phased back, had she been waiting all that time? I hoped not.

She reached towards me but I darted past her, heading for the stairs, "Just leave me alone." I called back to her.

Safely in my room, I finally let my tears fall.

* * *

AN: So what did you think? Seriously, it makes my day to get some reviews!


	4. 4 Introduction

I couldn't sleep. The day had exhausted me, both mentally and physically but no matter how hard I tried sleep would not come.

Transforming for the first time had activated my wolf senses- it was disconcerting. Every small sound now felt like a bomb had gone off next to my ear. I could hear the forest, the whisper of the leaves blowing, small animals scuttling out of their hiding places. I could hear the every lazy breath Seth took from his room down the hall, every murmur my mom made in her sleep, as if I was in the same room. But the most distracting noise was the rhythm of my own heart beat. _Thumpa- thump thumpa- thump_, it sounded as though it was about to break free from my chest.

I could see every dust-mote- despite the darkness of my bedroom- as they swirled gently around the still air. My nose itched, suddenly having to cope with a cacophony of new and unusual smells.

But none of those things were the true reason why I was awake. I simply couldn't wrap my head around what I had become. The day had started off normal enough-apart from the fact it was my birthday- how had things changed so suddenly?

Why me? Why now? Was I always supposed to be like this- I remembered my expression from earlier- _the freak amongst freaks_? And then I felt guilty for the way I'd treated Seth when I'd seen him with Sam. He'd been coping with changing himself. I wondered how long he'd been like this. I'd seen through Sam's mind that he had been the first to phase and he had helped everyone else when they had too. I knew I would always be grateful to Sam for helping my brother.

Sam was the Alpha. We had to follow his orders. I couldn't stop phasing- not only would my anger get in the way- but Sam had told me that I now had a duty to the tribe. I was a chosen protector; I couldn't turn my back on it.

The anger kept rising in me throughout the night as I recalled the events of the day. I had to focus and try to keep calm. I would definitely phase in my room if I thought about it too much.

I tossed and turned, throwing the covers to the floor- I was so hot now, another 'wolf thing'. I tried to remember happier times and fell asleep to fitful dreams about my father.

I woke with a start- vividly remembering all that had happened yesterday, but it didn't feel real. I must have been dreaming. I got up, throwing my tangled sheets back on the bed. I reached up to untie my hair and stopped. It felt like a huge matted mess. I ran to the mirror on my dressing table. My thick, waist long hair, which had once been silky smooth, was now clumped together in heaps. Some of it stuck to my head, while other bunches stood out, as if I had been electrocuted. Leaves and small twigs were interwoven into the tangled black mess and I had dirt streaks all over my face.

I ran to the bathroom, quickly hopping in the shower before the water had a chance to heat up. The cold barely registered as I slathered my hair in as much conditioner as I could. It had all been real, the dirt, twigs and leaves were proof of that.

I spent a long time in the shower, far too long. I only stepped out when I'd emptied the bottle of conditioner and quickly scrubbed the rest of my body. I didn't allow myself to think about what I was doing as I gently tugged the brush through my hair, I knew I'd get upset, and I couldn't afford to do that, not least in the tiny bathroom.

Finally, after my arms started to protest, I gave up. I had managed to get most of the big knots out however, it was still frizzy, but it would have to do. My stomach rumbled loudly so I dressed and headed downstairs.

I knew my mom was in the kitchen before I reached the doorway, her breathing- I had noticed during the night- was a lot light than Seth's. I could only hear her heartbeat's in the house, so I knew Seth was out.

I didn't make eye contact with her as I fetched a bowl of cereal. She didn't say anything, just stayed sat at the table, head down, obviously waiting for me to join her. I did, taking the seat opposite her, and quickly started scoffing my food.

She took a deep breath, "Leah."

I didn't respond.

"Leah, honey. Look at me."

I set my empty bowl down and slowly lifted my head.

"Oh sweetheart."

I don't know what she saw in my face- probably the despair and confusion I felt- but she quickly got up, made her way to my side and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I started sobbing, burying my head in her shirt.

She stroked my head, "Shh, shh. It's fine. You're going to be fine," she tried to sooth, but I could hear her voice cracking.

"No I'm not. I'm not fine. _It's_ not fine."

"I know it must be difficult for you at the moment, but things will get better for you, I promise. It was hard for Seth at first too."

"Where is Seth?"

"Sam called a pack meeting this morning. He wanted to tell them about you. He called me yesterday to tell what happened. I was so worried when I came home," she rushed out, "The mail was scattered in the street and you were nowhere to be found. I was frantic, but then Sam phoned…"

"I'm sorry." I hadn't even thought about how worried she must have been.

"Shh. I'm sorry honey."

I sniffed, "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry this has happened to you," she whispered, "We didn't know. How could we? This was never supposed to happen."

Great. Now even my mom thought there was something wrong with me. That I was more wrong than the others._ Werewolves_ weren't supposed to happen- but they did. _Female_ werewolves? That _definitely_ wasn't supposed to happen.

I could feel the fire start to bubble, a red haze clouded my vision as my hands started to tremble furiously, spreading the shakes towards the rest of my body. Suddenly I was scared; what would happen to my mom if I were to phase right now.

"Get back!" I yelled.

Mom backed quickly towards the doorway, her horrified eyes locked on my quivering figure. I was thankful that she'd listened to me, who knows what could have happened if she'd been close. A thought unexpectedly popped into my mind; is that what had happened to Emily? The thought that one of the werewolves could have done that to her- inflict that on a human- that_ I_ could now be capable of something so horrendous tipped me over the edge. Never breaking eye contact with my mother, my body rapidly shifted, the tearing of clothes and splitting wood of the kitchen table was all that could be heard.

I looked into my mom's eyes and all I could see was horror.

'_Leah? Shit! Is Sue alright?'_ Paul asked, panicked.

I quickly ran through what had happened.

'_Phew. That was a close one.'_ He thought casually.

'_That's not the point, Paul,'_ I sneered, seething, _'I could have hurt her! I could have killed her!'_ I exclaimed, surveying the damage to the kitchen.

The table and chairs would only be good for firewood now and there were three huge gouges down one of the cabinets. The room was barely big enough to contain my size. I realised, with horror, that if I hadn't ripped my mother to shreds then I would have definitely crushed her.

'_Okay, okay! Touchy much?' _

'_Shut up!'_

My mom looked like she was about to step towards me but I shook my head. I didn't want her anywhere near me. I was disgusting. It was only the thought that I didn't want her seeing me like this that made me force myself to calm down enough to phase back.

I drew into myself, changing back to human. No longer supported by two legs my body fall forward. My left arm smacked the linoleum while the rest of my body crumpled in a heap on top of the destroyed table.

"I um… I'll just… go get you some clothes," Sue stuttered, disappearing down the hall.

I sat up, curling my knees to my chest. How could I have done that? I put my mom in danger. Sam had warned me yesterday that I would need to distance myself from my friends. I'd told him that I didn't have any, so it should be too much of an effort. But I needed my family, I needed my mom, now more than ever, but I couldn't be anywhere near her, I was too unsafe, unstable. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to notice her return. A soft thud next to me snapped me out of it.

"Here," my mom said gently, cautiously, "put those on."

I stood, quickly dressing in the jeans and black camisole she had placed by my side, never once looking up at her.

"Leah? It's okay."

"It's not okay." I said, ashamed.

"You couldn't help it."

"I put you in danger, mom. That's not okay."

"You can't help it, Leah," she said, getting frustrated, "You've only been a wolf for a day. You can't expect to control your temper like that," she clicked her fingers, "Especially with what you're going through at the moment." She sighed and buried her face in her hands.

"When will it get better?" I asked quietly.

"Soon, honey. But it's different for everyone. I wouldn't be surprised, with the year you've had if… maybe it takes a bit longer for you."

"What am I supposed do now?" Was I meant to hide myself away from everyone for months? Did I have to live in isolation until I was able to control myself? Seth hadn't gone away. But then again Seth hadn't been in the dark place I was in. He'd had to deal with the death of our father but I had that plus all my other problems to contend with.

Not realising that I wasn't referring to the present my mom answered, "Well… Sam wanted you to stop by his this morning, Kind of an introduction to the pack kind of thing. Plus I think he wants to talk to you," she added the last part whispering.

"Oh, okay." I didn't know how to feel about that- knowing that I would have to get used to seeing Sam on a regular basis now. I had done my best to avoid him for so long and now I was expected to go over to his house and play nice.

I decided that it was best if I got it over with sooner rather than later, otherwise I'd be dreading it all day.

I set off from my house after I'd helped mom clean up the kitchen, returning moments later to leave my coat behind. I only put it on out of habit but with the temperature I was running I wouldn't need it, despite the heavy drizzle coming in off the ocean.

I had never been over to Sam and Emily's house before, but I knew where it was. I'd had no reason to go there before, I wasn't speaking to either of them, plus the little grey house only served as a reminder of what could have been mine. They were living the life I imagined me and Sam would have had after finishing college. It stung that he was able to move on so swiftly from me, it was like we'd never been together.

I didn't kid myself; I was still very much in love with Sam and the idea that he wasn't with me anymore, living the life we should have had with someone else, never mind my own cousin- my former best friend- was like a knife in my chest. A huge, ten inch, acid coated knife, right to the heart. I hoped Emily wouldn't be there. It was hard enough dealing with Sam and I didn't know if I could cope with her too, I had to keep my temper in check.

I approached the small house tentatively. I could hear the people laughing and joking inside, probably the pack, and I was instantly nervous. I didn't want to fit in with them, a bunch of teenage boys, I didn't want to be a part of the pack, but I still worried what they would make of me.

I rapped my hand on the door three times and waited for someone to answer. As soon as I finished knocking the house grew silent, I guessed they must have been expecting me. I heard the shuffle of feet before the door slowly creaked open.

"Thanks for coming, Leah," Sam smiled, moving back to allow me to step in.

I kept my head down as I mumbled, "It's fine."

"Come on in." he offered, motioning for me to sit at the table.

The kitchen was crowded. The men- or boys- in the room all impossibly big for such a small space. Some sat at the table, while others leaned against the countertops. I recognised all their faces, I'd seen them all round the reservation.

The most familiar face smiled at me as I quickly sat down next to him, not making eye contact with anyone, "Hi Leah," Seth gleamed, casually throwing his left arm round my hunched shoulders, "I didn't think you'd come here 'cause…well… you know. Man, it's weird. Not just having you here, but you being in the pack now too. Sam just told us. It's gonna change things. Who'd have thought it, you in the pack? Aw man, it'll be strange having my big sister my head. We never knew a girl could phase, well I certainly didn't…" Seth eventually trailed off, finally noticing how awkward I felt and tense atmosphere in the room.

Sam cleared his throat behind me, my eyes still transfixed on the grains of wood in the table- my hair creating a curtain between me and the curious stares- wanting the ground to swallow me whole, "Guys, I'm sure most of you already know Leah," he started, "I know it's unexpected, for all of us and as Seth said, it will change things. But I hope you all make Leah feel welcome."

I literally wanted to die as the group mumbled their acceptance. It was awkward for everyone, not that Seth seemed to notice much. The whole of La Push knew about me and Sam and I assumed that the people gathered here today'd had an intimate view of the whole thing through the mind link.

Sam cleared his throat once again, silencing the chorus of mumbles and whispered conversations that had struck up within the group. I hadn't opened my mouth since I'd arrived in an attempt to keep my emotions in check. Thankfully it appeared that Emily wasn't home- at least I wouldn't have to deal with her too.

"This sets us at even numbers once again, so patrol shifts will change," Sam declared. I could instantly tell that he'd switched to Alpha mode- although his voice didn't have the same resonance it had done in Jacob's memories. He was obviously just issuing orders, not Alpha commands. "We should be good to go in pairs now. That means we'll have four rotations, giving every more time off. Jared, I think Paul's been out on his own for long enough, can you go and join him, I'll update you later."

Jared, the boy who I had recognised being in the grade below me at school, gave a quick nod before quickly running towards the back of the house. No sooner had the back door clicked shut I felt a shimmer; Jared had obviously phased.

"I've given the new patrols a lot of thought and I've tried to make it fair on everyone, taking into account that most of you are still at school.

"Jared will be teamed with Paul, taking the morning shift, six 'til twelve. Quil, Embry, you'll be on from noon 'til six," the two boys sat opposite me nodded their agreement. I was getting nervous, I desperately didn't want to be paired with Sam, "Seth and I will go from six until midnight and Leah and Jacob can do the night shift."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"We'll see how it goes. Jared only have a couple of months of school left and he still needs to graduate, so we won't be able to stay in this pattern for long, and six hours is a long time to be running the perimeters."

It seemed the 'pack business' was out of the way for now as the group started idly talking amongst themselves. I stayed quiet as Seth planned a future cliff diving expedition with Embry. I hoped he wasn't going to jump from the top, but I kept my mouth shut- I could already feel everyone's eyes flicker over to me, I didn't need to draw any more attention to myself. This hadn't gone too badly, I thought. I'd managed not to phase and at least I wouldn't be stuck on patrol with Sam. Even Quil the pervert would have been better than him. I wondered if Sam remembered that Quil used to shamelessly flirt with me while we were going out. I knew he wasn't attracted to me- I'd been amazed when Sam had shown an interest, he was the only one to find me attractive- but Quil had a thing for older ladies according to Rachel and Rebecca, who's often had to thwart his shameless advances.

My relief was short lived as I caught a sweet, almost flowery scent. It was feminine and I knew straight away that it must be Emily- it couldn't be one of the guys. The front door opened and Sam rushed over to help Emily, taking the bags out of her hands and setting them down in the middle of the table.

"Dig in guys," Sam offered.

Four pairs of hands instantly flew towards the bags, quickly emptying them of their contents. I kept mine neatly folded in my lap.

"You're welcome to have something too Leah." Sam said softly.

"No thank you," I said in a whisper, "I'm not hungry. In fact, if there's nothing more to say, then I think I'll be going now." I leapt up from the table, making my way past Emily to the still open door, keeping my head down.

_Keep you emotions in check, keep your emotions in check,_ I chanted to myself. No sooner had I reached the bottom porch step Sam called after me, "Wait, Leah."

I stopped, my back still turned towards him waiting for him to say what he had wanted to say.

"I need to talk to you."

"Look Sam. I_ have_ to put up with you now. That doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to be okay and it certainly doesn't mean I want to get pally with you _or_ her." I sighed, my voice sounding resigned, even to myself.

He sounded surprised, "I'm not expecting you to," he'd piqued my interest and I slowly turned to face him, although I still kept my eyes on the ground, "There's something else I need to talk to you about. Something I'd rather do in private."

"Fine," I relented. There wasn't anything he could say to me that could be worse than some of the things he'd said to me before- like on the day he broke up with me, or the day I begged him to take me back, promising to fix whatever I'd done. That day he'd told me he didn't want me, and he'd meant it, so I hadn't tried since.

We walked in silence for a while before reaching the beach. This place had bad memories; I hadn't come here since the day I'd seen him kissing Emily, but I wanted to get this over and done with so that I could get away from him and be alone, so I sat on the cool sand, crossing my legs and motioning for him to sit down a few feet away beside me.

"What's this about Sam?" I asked, sounding tired.

"I need to explain more of the legends to you, the uh…wolf legends."

"There's more for me to know?"

He nodded, "There's this thing that we do. It's called impriting…"

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A/N: Sorry to leave you all on a cliff hanger, but hopefully it will only be a few days until the next chapter is up. Hope you enjoyed. As always please review, it makes my day!


	5. 5 Imprinting?

**A/N: Hi guys. Just wanted to say a massive thanks to everyone who's reviewed, favorited and added to alerts. You're the best!**

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We sat side by side, a few feet apart. Sam gazed over at the ocean as I asked:

"Imprinting?" What the hell was that?

"It's a pretty strange occurrence," a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "According to the elders it's quite rare actually."

I frowned, "Is it about female wolves?" I asked stupidly, knowing there had been none before me, "Why did you not want to explain this…imprinting thing in front of the pack?"

"It's not about female wolves, Leah. But it does relate to you."

"I'm not following you."

He sighed and ran his hand through his short hair, "I know. Just…please listen to everything I have to say?" I nodded and he returned to glaring towards the waves, "When we broke up…"

"I don't want to talk about that Sam." I snapped.

"I know you don't. I don't particularly want to bring it up either. This conversation is going to be hard enough as it is, so please just hear me out." He looked at me then, and the sorrow in his eyes stunned me. I nodded for him to continue.

"When we…after we phase for the first time something can happen. When we see _her_…"

My hands were trembling in frustration, "Just spit it out Sam."

He took a long breath, "Imprinting happens after we become wolves. It doesn't matter how long we've known the person, the first time we see her… or him," he added as an afterthought, scrunching up his features in the process before turning and looking at me full on, "changes everything. Nothing matters anymore but them. Your perspective on life alters so dramatically it feels like the whole world shifts." His gaze had become intense, making me uncomfortable. I dropped my eyes, focusing on the sand I was gathering between my fingers. My other hand nervously playing with my hair.

"I still don't understand."

"Imprinting changes everything. Its… its how we find our mates… our soul-mates." He quickly stuttered.

He gave me a minute to process that. It sounded like some really weird stuff. I knew why he had to tell me- I couldn't _not_ know about it but why was he so insistent that we had to be alone? I knew I couldn't be his soul-mate; otherwise he'd have stayed with me. Did this mean that he had split up with me to save him from having to leave me if he found someone new? But what about Emily? Did he not care about her? There was so much to process- I was obviously missing something.

"Why are you telling me this Sam? You said this related to me"

He quickly waved his hands in front of him, alarmed, "Oh no Leah. I didn't imprint on you."

"Thank you Captain Obvious, I would never have guessed that myself," I cried sarcastically, throwing my own hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "I thought you'd got the wrong idea," in a stronger voice he continued, "I'm telling you because I _did_ imprint…on Emily."

So I had been missing the obvious. It was right there, staring me in the face. I thought the mention of Emily would have me shredding my clothes in no time, but it simply made me feel numb. I'd been through too much during the past year, most of it caused by what Sam was now telling me. It was another wolf thing, something we just did. On an impulse. On a whim. What a pathetic excuse for all the pain he'd put me through.

"I'm so sorry, Leah. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt you." He stopped when I held up my hand.

"Are you saying that when you _imprinted_," I gritted the word out through clenched teeth, "you didn't care about me anymore? That I was just forgotten to you?"

"No. I _did_ still care, Leah. I still do care. It's just that you weren't the focus of my world anymore."

"If you cared you would have fought it!" I spat.

"I DID!" he cried leaping to his feet, "I tried so hard to fight it, so hard. I knew how much it would hurt you, but I couldn't change anything," he crouched down in front of me, my eyes now fixed on his feet as he leant closer, "I couldn't fight it, couldn't change it no matter how much I knew it would hurt you. I _never_ wanted to hurt you, Leah." He said intensely.

He put his forefinger under my chin, lifting my head until I met his gaze, his eyes boring into my tear filled ones.

"You have to believe me Leah. Do you know how difficult it was to end it, to end _us_? I didn't just forget about you or what we had, but it was unfair to keep you when my world had so drastically changed. It was so hard, especially because I was-I _am_- still in lo…"

"Don't make this about _you_ and _your_ pain, Sam. You got your happy ending, where's mine?" I interrupted. I ripped my face from his grasp, surprised at how easy it was. I guess I was strong now.

He backed off immediately, resting back on the balls of his feet, "You never know Leah, you could imprint too, Jared has, so it might not be as rare as we think."

"I hope I don't." It sounded awful, having your freewill taken away from you like that. Maybe Sam and I would still be together if it didn't exist. "I have to go."

I ran from the beach as fast as I could, making it home in record time.

I spent the afternoon sleeping- knowing I would have to patrol through the night. The time I didn't spend sleeping I mulled over what Sam had told me, the word _'imprinting'_ rattled around in my brain constantly. The whole thing was messed up. In some part of my mind, almost subconsciously, I was relieved to know that at least Sam hadn't broken up with me due to any wrong doing on my part. Actually, until I interrupted him, I could have sworn he was going to say that he was still in love with me. I quickly brushed that thought aside. It probably wasn't true; in fact it definitely wasn't true, so why put myself through that pain? I didn't need to open up old wounds, despite how long they were taking to heal in the first place.

I got so angry at one point that I phased, just managing to dart out the back door as I felt the onset. At least I hadn't broken anything this time, although I was going to seriously run out of clothes soon. Naked, I rushed back upstairs. After I'd dressed for the third time that day I started to work on my hair again. I heard Sue unlock the front door as I tackled a particularly big knot.

"Are you okay now sweetheart?"

"No," I huffed, looking in the mirror at my mother now standing in my doorway. "Sam told me about _imprinting_." I sneered.

"I see."

"You knew," I realised, turning to face her, "You knew about this imprinting crap and you didn't tell me."

"I couldn't. You couldn't know the secret."

I groaned, turning back to the mirror to concentrate on my hair. It was impossible. I screeched in frustration; it was either that or phase again.

"You know," she started quietly, "it might be easier if, you know…if you cut your hair. That's what the boys did when they first phased."

"No."

I had noticed that all the members of the pack had short hair. I'd been devastated when Sam had cut his short not long after returning from his disappearance. It had been beautiful, reaching the tops of his shoulder blades; I hadn't wanted it to go.

"Honey," she sighed, walking into my room and taking the brush out of my hand, "I know how much you love your hair. I don't want to be the one suggesting that you cut it, but it will make your life so much easier."

"No it won't," I snatched the hairbrush out of her hands and continued tugging it through my hair furiously.

"Leah. You can't brush it like this every time you phase. It will make things easier in both your human and wolf form if you cut it. Have you noticed how shaggy your fur is?"

"Urg fur," I growled, "yes I had actually."

"That's because your hair is so long. The way it is you'll end up getting caught in branches."

"Do I really have to cut it?" I whispered, lowering the brush as her words sank in.

She nodded sadly.

"Bring me the scissors please." My tone was flat, resigned.

"I can cut it for you if you'd like."

"Bring. Me. The. Scissors." I managed to bite out through my teeth, tears already spilling onto my cheeks.

I had grown my hair, I was going to be the one to cut it. I'd never liked my appearance. In fact, I hated it- but the one thing I did like, the one thing I _loved_, was my hair. My friends, the one's I'd had before Sam left a bumbling mess, had loved playing with it, I knew they were jealous. Even I had to admit that it was beautiful- thick, jet black locks that flowed to the small of my back- and now I was swapping it for dull grey fur.

My mom quickly returned, scissors in hand.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

I snatched them from her, "I don't really have a choice do I?"

I turned to the mirror, pausing to debate how short I should make it. I didn't want it to be as short as the boys hair, I didn't need to feel like even less of a girl. I didn't want it to be too long either; if it was going to cause enough of a problem that Sue had felt the need to tell me, then I knew it had to be fairly short.

I brought some of my hair over my left shoulder, trying to avoid eye contact with my mother in the mirror. I could hear her breathing hitch and I knew she was crying. I fought back tears myself; I didn't need them clouding my vision.

I brought the scissors up to just below my jaw and, clenching my teeth, I made the first cut. Long ebony locks drifted to the floor. Hot, fat teardrops joined them as I made my way around my head, the scissors making an awful grating, slicing noise as I went. With each lock that fell I felt like I was cutting away a piece of myself too, leaving the Leah I knew behind.

Despite my weeping I managed to get the front straight and even on both sides- thank, no doubt, to my greatly improved eyesight.

"Is the back straight?" I whispered.

My mom walked up behind me, touching the wisps of hair that now brushed the back of my neck. "Yes."

I handed the scissors back to her quickly and scooped up the hair on the floor as fast as I could. I didn't want to think about much there was- how it filled my arms- as I threw it in the trash. I didn't turn back to the mirror to see the result of my handiwork either; I already felt too weird not having my hair swoosh around me with every movement.

My mom took my hand, "Come with me."

She led me downstairs and motioned for me to sit on the sofa.

"I bought you some things," she said, producing some bags from behind the sofa, "I didn't know what I could do you for you…to make this easier. But then I realised that you'd need clothes, so here." She said, passing me the bags and sitting down beside me.

The first bag I looked in contained multipacks of tank tops. There were about thirty of them in many different colors. The next bag I looked in had four pairs of sweatpants, half were full length, the other half ended at the knees. The bag also had six pairs of shorts. Really short, shorts.

"I can't wear these!" I gasped.

Sue chuckled at my horrified expression, "Leah, honey, trust me when I say that I wouldn't want you to wear them unless I thought they were necessary. Your temperature means that you'll get too hot."

"But the guys wear longer shorts." I pleaded.

"But have you also noticed how that's all they wear?" -I had, it was difficult not to- "That's because they've got to carry their clothes around with them when they're wolves. You'll have to do the same, but you don't have the luxury of going around topless- I'm just trying to give you a lighter load. There are a couple of dresses in the other bag."

I supposed what she was saying made sense. I'd noticed yesterday that Jacob had untied his clothes from his leg, I couldn't very well start carrying around a whole outfit that way.

"I stopped by Emily's on my way home, I wasn't sure if you'd still be there," I rolled my eyes- how could she not know that I'd got out of there as fast as I could, "Sam was just heading back and he asked me to give you this." She reached into her pocked and produced a long cord, the kind Jacob had used on his leg.

I groaned as I took it from her and wrapped it around my right ankle a few times.

I helped mom make dinner as she joked about having to feed two werewolves now. It was seven by the time we sat down to eat- on the sofa because we no longer had a table- and I knew Seth was on patrol. After dinner, while I was washing the dishes the phone rang.

"It's for you." Mom called from the hallway.

"Hello?" I asked into the receiver as I settled back on the couch. Sue decided to finish the dishes to give me some privacy.

"Hey, Leah, I spoke to Billy today and told him about my plans to come back. He's really excited," Rachel gushed out. I internally groaned- so much had happened since we last spoke, had it really only been three days? "He told me you were trying to get your old job back, have you heard from them?"

"I'm not really interested in getting a job anymore." I replied dully.

"What? I thought you said you wanted to save up and come to college, you can't have changed your mind already!"

"Well I have." I snapped.

I wasn't being fair to her, but I really didn't want to think about all the things I'd have to give up. And, on top of that, if she was coming back, I had to distance myself from her. This morning with Sue had taught me that there was no way I could still see Rachel. If I didn't end up accidently killing her then I'd surely give away the secret.

She brushed off my comment, "Come on, Leah. You were really excited the other day. Please don't tell me this is about me graduating early? You can still go to college without me."

I had to be firmer, make her see that I couldn't be around her, she couldn't come back. "I know I can. I just don't want to. This has nothing to do with you Rachel. Things are just… difficult at the moment. Maybe it would be best if you didn't come back at all!" I shouted.

I hung up the phone, tears already streaming down my face.

I set off for my patrol at ten to midnight. I ran someway into the woods before taking off my new sweatpants and tank top as quickly as I could, fastening them to my leg while my eyes darted around the forest. I felt so self conscious.

This was the first time I'd actually_ tried_ to phase and I wasn't sure how to do it, so I simply remembered my previous conversation with Rachel, letting the anger and guilt wash over me. I was soon on four legs.

'_Hey Leah,'_ Seth called brightly, _'I guess I can head home now Sam?'_

'_Yeah you can go. Try and get some sleep kid, you've still got school to think about.'_

'_I'm on it.'_ I heard him think as I could see our house approaching through his eyes.

He phased back as Sam said, _'Jake, make sure you take the deep run, and stay close to Leah.'_

'_Will do.'_

I stayed where I was as Jacob caught up to me, Sam phased back a few minutes later and we were alone.

'_Why did Sam tell you to stay close to me? Do you usually run apart?'_ I asked as we kept an even pace, side by side.

'_Yeah, we usually stay a few miles apart, sometimes we take half the circle each__, but when the young ones phase me and Sam stick by them.' _

I scoffed, _'Young ones! I'm older than the rest of you, apart from Sam… and Paul, but I think he's only a couple of months older than me.'_

'_You know what I mean,'_ he rolled his eyes, _'When Quil phased we stayed near him until he got the hang of it. Sam still stays with Seth, he's only been with us for a month.'_

'_Meanwhile you're stuck with me.'_

'_Yep. I think Sam knows you don't want to be in his head so as second-in-command that job falls to me.'_

'_Huh.'_

We ran in silence for a while and I could see how this would get pretty boring. I tried not to intrude on Jacobs thoughts- I knew I didn't was_ my_ brain picked apart- but he was difficult to ignore. Especially when he kept thinking about the same thing; Bella Swan.

Apparently she was going out with a 'bloodsucker'- Jacob's word- and was planning to be turned into one of them. What an idiot! Who could possibly want to be a vampire? Or any supernatural creature for that matter?

'_Tell me about it.'_

The sheer hatred of the species was so ingrained within the collective wolf psyche that I couldn't help but instantly abhor them. They were wrong, unnatural- so were we, but we were alive, made to destroy them, they couldn't carry on existing.

Jacob thought about when he'd found out Bella's plans and he'd run straight back to La Push and informed Sam, there would be a war if she was changed. Then Jacob thought about a letter he'd received from Bella begging him to speak to her. I realised through the bitterness of his thoughts that he had been in love with her and she had dropped him with a click of the bloodsucker's fingers. He wouldn't speak to her now, he wanted to move on, forget about her – I could understand that, I wanted nothing more than to get away from Sam- but Bella kept trying to contact him, sending this note through Billy from Charlie. How very childish, it reminded me of second grade.

Jacob barked a laugh, _'That's what I thought. I'm going to reply tomorrow, as soon as I know what to write.' _

'_She truly is an idiot if she thinks you're going to speak to her after all that.'_

'_I wouldn't quite go that far.'_

'_I would. She's an idiot for wanting to change into one of them and she's selfish for thinking she can still keep you around too.'_

He growled, I'd obviously hit a sore spot_. 'You don't know the first thing about her, Leah. She's not trying to be selfish, that's just not her. It doesn't change anything, she'll still be my mortal enemy, but she's far more caring than you're giving her credit for!'_ he yelled.

'_Caring,'_ I snorted, _'If she was that caring then she'd leave you alone. She knows how much it's hurting you, you could tell by the look on her face when she'd said she was going to be changed that she knew what she'd done to you. And don't you try to tell me I'm wrong Jake because I'm picking all this up from _your_ thoughts.' _

'_SHUT UP!'_

We continued our patrol in relative silence. He was still thinking of Bella and I was thinking about how similar his situation was to my own, but we only thought these things to ourselves, not bothering to converse with one another anymore.

We'd made three sweeps of the perimeter, Jacob only breaking his silence to me once to point out where the treaty line was. I retained where the invisible line was easily. I estimated that we'd been out here for around three hours now, halfway through our shift, but I wasn't getting tired yet- bored, but not tired.

I thought of all the changes I'd gone through in the past couple of days. I didn't even know who I was anymore. It felt like my humanity had been cast aside with mail I'd dropped on the morning of my birthday. I was a totally different person now, and I didn't know what to make of that. I felt Jacob's silent agreement, albeit grudgingly as he still wasn't talking to me.

I thought about all the things I'd miss, I wouldn't get to go to college, I wouldn't get out of La Push, at least not anytime soon- and I'd already lost a friend. I felt bad for what I'd said to Rachel but I couldn't be anywhere near her.

'_You said WHAT TO HER?'_ Jacob yelled incredulously. _'Do you know how long_ _Billy's waited for her to come home? How long _I've_ waited for her to come home? How could you say that?'_

'_I didn't know how to handle it. She can't be anywhere near me.'_ I thought desperately, remembering my mom's horrified expression in the kitchen.

'_Maybe_ you_ can't be near her but the rest of us can. I can't believe you said that. You'd better hope she still comes home Leah.' _He threatened.

Great, I'd managed to piss him off twice on our first patrol.

* * *

A/N: What did you think?

I setting up an update schedule, although who know's if I'll actually stick to it! So from now on I'll be updating this story every Wednesday and Sunday.

Please review


	6. 6 Invitation

**A/N: Hi, this chapters quite a short one, mainly leading up to the next chapter, which will definitely be up by Wednesday if not before. As always, thanks for the reviews, please please keep them coming! **

* * *

It had been just over three weeks since I'd burst out of my skin for the first time. Three weeks of running around on four paws, adjusting to what I was.

The patrol schedules had been changed. Not only were Jacob and I constantly arguing after our first night of patrol- clearly we would never get on, we just couldn't see eye to eye on anything- but six hours was too long to be phased and the younger ones needed to go to school. So Sam, Paul and I ran during school hours and the rest of the guys took it in turns to patrol the rest of the time. It was tiring but we got the daytime off on the weekends. Sometimes Sam would make us go out as a group, spreading our runs further out in the hopes of catching the red-headed leech, but to no avail.

I hated the way I was now. I didn't feel like a girl anymore. In fact I didn't really feel like anything- apart from a giant dog. I detested my new life and I resented what I had become, but what I hated the most was having to share my mind with Sam. I had to learn quickly how to cover up my pain and suffering. I didn't do it to ease his guilt- in fact I relished in making him feel bad for what he had done to me, he deserved it- but it was humiliating, to the point of insanity, that he knew how I felt about him, that I was still in love, that I was still pining after him.

Not only that, but I also had to put up with incessant thoughts about _his_ Emily. How perfect she was, wondering what she was doing, how she was, remembering their evenings together, thinking about just how utterly happy he was. I thought I'd been it in pain before I joined the pack, but it was nothing compared to what it was like now.

I had also gotten into a major fight with most of the pack two weeks ago. It was a Friday night and we'd all been phased when I had thought about Emily, wondering whether a bear was the real reason she'd gotten those scars. I hadn't meant to think it, I'd been too afraid to ask anyone up until that point, but Sam instantly remembered hurting her- how his claws tore into her arm and her beautiful face as he shifted- and it travelled through the mind link to all of us. The rest of the guys had all seen it before, but they still cringed. I, however, promptly threw up, wheezing and spluttering. What had happened to her was truly horrifying and made so much worse by seeing it first hand.

As I recovered, I heard Jacob, who was running parallel to me, thinking that I may have gained some satisfaction from what had happened to her. He assumed- after our conversation about Bella- that I would be evil enough to think it was Emily's 'just desserts' for running off with Sam. I quickly and instinctively lunged for him, tackling him to the ground.

The others converged, some- like Seth- ready to defend me if I needed it, others to watch, and the rest to join in and help Jacob, not that he needed it- he was easily twice my size in wolf form. It was all a blur and everyone's thoughts were shouting at me stop as I bit into Jacob, apart from Sam, who was almost as outraged at Jake's thoughts as I was. He only stopped us- having to use an Alpha command as we were both too furious to stop- when Jacob got the upper hand and went for my throat.

We had 'made up' after that. He explained that it was an errant thought, only brought about because he knew what he'd be like if it was Bella's vampire, Edward, who'd been hurt. I not so politely reminded Jacob that not only was Edward a vampire- he'd want to tear him to pieces regardless- and Emily was human, but also that she was my cousin and although I hated her with an undying, unyielding passion, I would never wish ill will on her. We decided to put it behind us and move on as we were already arguing too much as it was.

Now it was Wednesday evening, two weeks later, and I was patrolling with Quil and Jacob- Embry hadn't been able to get past his mom so I had been asked, well told, to cover for him. Sometimes I felt sorry for the kid- he'd often take over patrol with fresh memories of his mothers' shouting and crying still in his mind.

Although we were never allowed to patrol alone with the exception of Sam and Jacob, I was at least able to run by myself now- having constantly kicked up a fuss about not needing a babysitter. I hated the fact that I had to run slow, allowing whichever wolf was with me to be able to keep up. Before I'd come along, Jacob had been the fastest, but now even he struggled to keep up with me.

'_Do not.'_ He protested as I reached the shore, turning swiftly to run back the way I came, no trace of a vampire scent in the air.

'_Do too.'_ I replied smugly.

I was running the southern most point of the trail, Quil the north and Jacob the east, when I suddenly had a thought that caused me to come to a screeching halt. When was my last period? I could have sworn I should have had it by now.

'_Eww gross, Leah.'_

'_Shut up Quil.'_ I growled as I tried to do the mental maths.

I blocked out Quil and Jacobs thoughts. According to my calculations I should have come on almost a week after my birthday. My period was two weeks and four days late. Shit! That can't be right. I quickly phased back so I could use my fingers to cross off the days. I didn't even think of pulling on my clothes, too desperate to prove myself wrong. At least I was alone in the middle of the forest. I sat on the wet earth- not caring that it was raining heavily- counting and re-counting. It was useless though- I had been right the first time. This thought sent the heat flying up my spine and before I knew it I had phased again.

'_Crap.'_I hissed as I thought about what I'd discovered.

'_Jesus… are you pregnant Leah?'_ Quil asked tactlessly.

'_No!'_

'_How'd you know? If you're that umm…late,'_ he cringed.

I rolled my eyes, _'I think I'd know when I last had sex Quil.' _I instantly thought back to my last time, my last time with Sam. They saw before I could block it.

'_Aw Leah, stop it'_

'_Yeah we don't need to see our Alpha like that,'_ Jacob shuddered as he saw Sam's face contorted in pleasure.

'_At least give us the other perspective.'_ Quil barked, and suddenly my face flooded his mind.

I snarled viscously in response. Quil's image quickly changed from an imagined one of me, to a real one. I realised with horror what he was showing me- it was me, under Sam, panting his name- not imagined, but a memory of Sam's that he must have so kindly shared with the group of teenage boys at some point.

'_Quil man, stop it.'_ Jacob whined. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that he didn't want to see it or the fact that I was going to kill Quil that prompted him to sound so desperate.

'_Both.'_

I was fuming. How could Sam do that?

'_You know he didn't mean to, you slipped up a minute ago too.'_ Quil offered, finally managing to concentrate on the forest and not on his memory.

'_Yes, but he's with Emily now__. He has someone else to think about, I don't.'_

'_Touché.'_

I ignored him, blocking out the conversation entirely to save myself any further embarrassment. How could my period be this late? I definitely wasn't pregnant. I'd never been a religious person but I snorted as I realised that at this point- running around as wolf and chasing vampires- it wouldn't be too much of a stretch if I pulled a Virgin Mary. Not that I would give birth to the son of God, more like the daughter of the devil the way I was going.

We finished our patrol when Seth, Jared and Paul came to spring us, me still thinking about my lack of period and Quil and Jacob still trying to maintain a conversation about the Cardinal's to block out said period thoughts.

* * *

When I got back from patrol the next afternoon Billy was round- surprise, surprise – talking to Sue at our- new- kitchen table.

"I'm just so worried about her Billy."

"I know you are, but you've just got to trust that she'll find her way."

I heard them talking as I approached the house, so instead of using the back door, which would have led me straight into the kitchen, I tip-toed round to the front door, closing it quietly behind me. At least my new abilities made sneaking around much easier. If I didn't hate it so much I may have cursed the fact I hadn't been like this as a teenager- it would have come in handy so many times.

My mom sighed, "I know but it must be hard for her."

"Of course it is," Billy exclaimed with a chuckle, "She's spending her time in the minds of teenage boys, that's a place no one wants to be."

Oh Billy, you have no idea, I thought as I recalled when I phased earlier, at the beginning of my patrol before I'd realised my period was late. I'd caught Quil thinking about a girl he'd been flirting with that day. I definitely did not need to see the particular image he'd been daydreaming about. He'd been embarrassed of course and I caught the resentful undertone of his thoughts- he knew he wouldn't have been embarrassed if a _girl_ hadn't joined the pack.

In fact, I got the distinct impression they were all slightly resentful of the fact that I had joined; it was no longer their little boys club. Now they had to control their thoughts and- for the first time- they had to think about where they phased, hiding behind trees so that we didn't have to see each other naked. Seth had the biggest problem of all- although being the way he is, he tried to hide it. He didn't like the fact that his big sister was in his head and he hated that I was so protective of him- but I couldn't help it, I'd lost my dad, I was not going to lose my brother.

"It's not only that," Sue sighed again, "I'm worried about how she's coping with _all_ of it. With Sam. With Emily. With her dad."

"She seems to be coping well given the circumstances." Billy offered, as I crept towards the stairs.

"That's just it Billy; she _seems_ to be coping. She puts a brave face on everything."

"Too much like her mother." Billy interjected.

Sue gave out a short chuckle before continuing, "I'm concerned that one of two things will happen. Either she'll eventually crack and fall apart under the pressure she puts on herself or she'll manage to repress all of it and never let anyone in again."

"I think you're over thinking it, Sue. As I said, I'm sure she'll be fine. Tell you what, I'm going to have a play-off party at the weekend, why don't you all come over? I'm sure a break from things will do you all some good." He offered.

"Thanks Billy. I think you're right; it would do us some good." She hesitated as my foot reached the bottom step. I thought for a minute that I'd been busted but she went on, in a voice much quieter than before- although I still heard it sharp as a bell- "You know she used to cry everyday over her father. She used to cry regularly over what happened with Sam. She hasn't cried once in the past two weeks…"

"Maybe…"

She cut Billy off quickly, "I know what you're thinking, but trust me, she's not getting over what happened, with Sam or Harry. I know my daughter and I know she's still in pain but it's like she's already closing herself off. I guess she's only doing it to protect herself but…"

I didn't listen to the rest, swiftly bounding upstairs as fast as I could I slammed my bedroom door to let them know I was home, and that I'd heard them. They stopped talking after that and Billy left soon afterwards.

* * *

I'd begrudgingly agreed to go to Billy's stupid party. I didn't even like sports. I hated them to the point where I didn't even know what sport we were supposed to be watching, but my mother had insisted that I go with her and Seth saying it would do me good to get out of the house. I had not-so-politely reminded her that I got out of the house frequently now- running up and down the forest all day in a fruitless pursuit of vampires- I'd had yet to come across one. Sue claimed that was not the same thing, I'd disagreed.

Yet here I was, making the downhill journey to the Black's house, hoping to get this afternoon over and done with as soon as possible. I was tired and irritable, having patrolled until four this morning and managing to catch a few hours sleep before being rudely awoken by my bossy mother who'd all but herded me out of the house. Sue Clearwater is a determined lady, and once she's set her mind on something, there's just no point in arguing with her, even if you are almost as stubborn.

Seth reached the little red house first and rapped on the door so hard I thought it might just come off its hinges.

"Come in," I heard Billy call as my mother and I reached the bottom of the porch steps, "Just take the damn door off while you're at it."

A chorus of laughs filled the room as we entered.

I stopped dead in my tracks. Sat on two of the dining room chairs the Blacks had placed in the lounge, were the last two people on earth I ever wanted to see.

Sam and Emily.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the cliff hanger, but you'll only have to wait a few days for the next update!

I know this chapter's a bit slow but I want to keep on track with Eclipse. Charlie mentions to Bella that Billy's throwing a playoff party so I really wanted to include it.

In awesome/ completely unrelated news: I've got a job interview on friday for a sub-editor role at a magazine. I'm stupidly nervous but fingers crossed!

If you could take just a quick minute of your time to leave a review that would be fab!


	7. 7 Proposition

A/N: Hi all. Thanks for all your kind reviews, please keep them coming!

Just wanted to clear something up really quickly.

I know Leah seems a bit different eg crying, being quiet etc I want to stress that I'm not planning on making her this weak little thing. I for one think Leah's really strong, sometimes too strong for her own good, but I don't think _she _thinks she's strong. I think the events during Eclipse shape the person that we see in Breaking Dawn. I don't believe Leah was always bitchy. Don't worry though, she's definitely going to change at some point in this story

* * *

Sam and Emily. Emily and Sam. Sat in Billy Black's lounge. What had I done to deserve this? I was going to kill Billy later, wheelchair or no wheelchair. Actually, perhaps I could kill him _with _his wheelchair, he'd certainly deserve it. He'd knowingly invited all three of us. Was this his pathetic attempt to get us all talking again? Or was it my punishment for telling Rachel not to come home? I'd heard from Sue that Rachel had been upset by what I had said but that she was still coming back, so my first guess was obviously the right one.

Didn't Billy know that part of the problem was that they kept trying to be a part of my life when I wanted nothing to do with them? That it was hurting me more because I couldn't move on when they were there? Obviously he didn't- not least because I'd never actually said any of that out loud before. How could he know?

Sue nudged me in the back, I was still stood in the doorway and she obviously wanted to get through. I moved into the room automatically, if I'd been in my right mind at that moment I would have run straight back out the door, probably mowing my mother down in the process. I pressed myself up against the far wall near the kitchen door, as far from the two of them as possible as my mom and Seth exchanged pleasantries with Billy, Sam, Emily and Jacob, who was sprawled across the small couch.

I had missed my hair terribly so many times since I'd cut it, but none more than at this moment, where I wished it would fall around my face, creating a curtain and cutting off my view of the happy couple. Instead, I looked at the floor, picking patterns in the worn patches of the carpet and tried to ignore the tense atmosphere in the room.

"LEAH!" a familiar voice cried before I was suddenly embraced by the short woman who'd come out of the kitchen. It was an awkward hug, not least because she was a little over five feet and I had grown again, standing at nearly six foot now.

I hugged Sam's mom back, "Natalie, it's so good to see you." I meant it, I had missed her terribly.

We had always had a good relationship. She was very close to Sam, he was her only child and they'd lived alone together for so long- Joshua had left them when Sam was four. They had a close bond and I grew to be just as close to her as he was. She had once told me that she felt like I was the daughter she never had. When Sam had gone missing we had both been frantic. There wasn't a trace of him, any clue to give us an idea of where he was and so we'd clung to each other in the hope he would come back, neither of us willing to contemplate the possibility that he might not. There had been many search and rescue teams looking for him but it hadn't been enough for us and so we often set off into the woods to look for him ourselves. We even travelled up to Port Angeles, Near Bay, Tacoma and Seattle, desperately hoping to catch a glimpse of him, to beg him to come home.

For the first week I spent my nights curled up in Sam's bed, trying and failing to get to sleep. The second week both Natalie and I gave up on our efforts to get some rest and instead spent each night on the sofa, crying and hugging, and promising ourselves and each other that Sam would come back home.

When he did return, in the middle of the fifteenth night we'd both been the ones to comfort him as he broke down and gave us his apologies through sobs. We'd been the ones who'd stayed with him all night as he wept. We'd been the one's demanding answers the next day. We'd been the ones he'd left behind. Not Emily. She wasn't even on the scene then, still up on the Makah reservation.

My relationship with Sam hadn't been right after he'd disappeared. He wouldn't tell me where he'd been and Natalie informed me that he kept running off at night. He'd become so secretive and so serious, and yet we had been trying to make it work, but it wasn't to be. Natalie had been so upset when Sam dumped me, but I pushed her away. She was adamant that we would get back together and it hurt me every time she said it because I knew, deep down, that it wasn't true. I hadn't seen her in about six months, although she had probably been at the funeral- but I'd been too wrapped up in my grief to notice who'd attended.

She pulled back to look up at my face, "How are you sweetie? Oh, you cut your hair." She observed, reaching up to brush some of it behind my left ear. "It looks…good." Her enthusiastic tone was overshadowed by her hesitation.

"No it doesn't," I mumbled.

"Oh I'm sure you're just getting used to it, that's all. It's a big change." She grabbed my hand and led me towards the four dining room chairs lined up on the back wall. She sat down next to her son and patted the chair next to her. Charlie Swan opened the front door then, not even bothering to knock first and seemed to instantly notice the atmosphere in the room, even though Natalie still appeared oblivious.

Jacob quickly moved off the couch, sitting crossed legged on the floor next to Seth to allow my mom and Charlie to sit there. Everyone quickly started up their own conversations. Jacob and Seth were discussing something about cars while Billy, Charlie and my mom caught up with each other. It felt strange to witness them talking without my dad butting in with his two cents. Billy asked where Bella was and Jacob's head snapped up. Charlie grumbled something intelligible even to wolf ears and no more was asked on the subject.

Emily and Sam talked quietly to each other while Natalie spoke to me. Unfortunately the four of us were sat in a line, so I had to see the happy couple over Natalie's shoulder while I talked to her.

"So Leah, what have you been up to recently?" She started brightly.

"Oh umm…not a lot really." My response was awkward and quiet.

"Oh come on, I'm sure you've been up to something."

"I haven't" I replied lamely.

"What, absolutely nothing? A pretty girl like you, I'm sure you've not been spending time by yourself. Haven't you had any dates or anything?" Everyone apart from Charlie, who was oblivious to my problems, instantly fell quiet, unsure of how I would react to such a question. They all quickly started up their conversations with new enthusiasm, not wanting to give away the fact that they were all listening for my reply.

What was I supposed to say? _'No I haven't because not only am I still madly in love with your son but I also burst out of my skin in my spare time. Oh, by the way, please don't set me off, just in case you end up looking like your future daughter-in-law.'_ Somehow I didn't think that'd go down too well. Instead I simply went with no.

"Oh that's too bad, Leah. I'm sure you'll find someone soon, after all, people move on quickly all the time." She said snidely, casting a look over her shoulder to her son, who now looked towards the floor.

I knew Natalie liked Emily- apart from me, it was hard not to- and I had seen as much in Sam's mind once or twice when he recalled him and Emily spending the afternoon at his mothers' house, the two woman talking and laughing freely, much like I used to do when I went over to there. I suspected that her comment was solely directed at Sam. I'd only recently found out the real reason him and Emily had gotten together, Natalie was still in the dark and I assumed that she was still disappointed in Sam's behaviour despite her fondness for Emily.

It didn't make this situation any easier though. The game started and everyone was quickly absorbed in it, apart from me. I was too lost in my own thoughts to even bother to identify what sport we were watching. I had to clamp down on my tongue on more than one occasion to stop the heat from rising. Natalie being here only served to remind me of what could have been. I could have been her future daughter-in-law. If it wasn't for this wolf thing I probably would be her future daughter-in-law. I thought, towards the end of our relationship that Sam was going to propose to me, the signs had all been there. We were getting on better, not s we had been before he'd disappeared but we'd worked through the worst of it. I'd found a jewellers website on his internet history and one day he was sat in my room as I got ready to go to work and he'd been trying on my rings. I'd asked him what he was doing but he wouldn't answer, he'd smiled and blushed a deep crimson, finally telling me I would _'just have to wait.' _That was a week before Emily came down to visit me and the first time he'd seen her since phasing.

I couldn't take anymore. I leapt up from my chair and darted through the back door towards the tree line. I didn't go far, as soon as I passed the first couple of trees, Jacob's garage blocking me from the view of the house, I jerked to a halt, quickly trying to get my breathing under control and suppress the tremors rolling along the length of my body. I slowly managed to regain control of myself- proud that I had stopped an involuntary phase for the first time.

I was still bent over, my hands on my knees when I heard her:

"Hey," she said tentatively.

"I'm surprised he let you out here," I growled. "He must have known I was going to phase."

"I told him that if you had then I wouldn't be anywhere near you when you shifted, I knew I'd be safe." Emily said softly, stopping a few feet away from me.

I stood to my full height and crossed my arms. I glared at her, "Why did you even bother to come out here, Emily?"

"Well I could tell you were having a tough time in there." Funny, I thought I was growing better at hiding my pain, especially from _her_. "Look, I know we don't really speak much anymore but I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you, you can talk to me."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't want to talk to you."

"I know things have been… difficult between us recently," she started, her eyes pleading and her tone still annoyingly soft and sweet, "but I want to make it right. Now that you know about everything- the whole imprinting thing- well I don't know…It was so hard, not being able to tell you about it for all those months," her voice dropped to a whisper as she looked down, suddenly fascinated by her hands which were nervously playing with the hem of her shirt, "I had kind of hoped, now that you knew, that maybe we'd be able to move forward."

I snorted. Why on earth would I want to 'move forward' with her, whatever that meant? She had everything I didn't, everything I still wanted. I kept my face blank as I thought about what she'd said, what she was offering. Did I want to get back on track with Emily? Things would never be the same as they had been- I had lost my best friend forever the day I saw her and Sam at the beach- but could I try to piece together a relationship with her? Did I want to? No, I didn't. It would make it so much harder for me. In order to move on, I realised, some thing's had to be left behind.

But- and this was a big but- I didn't want either of them to see how much pain I was in, or anyone else for that matter- I had to be strong. I couldn't hide my agony and despair from Sam, although I think I'd managed to conceal the true depth of my suffering when I was in wolf form. I _could_ hide it from Emily but that would involve putting on one hell of a brave face, sucking it up and at least attempting to get along with her. I wasn't sure I was ready to do that.

Unperturbed by my lack of response she looked into my eyes and continued, "I just want to make things right between us again, Leah. I miss you. I miss the friendship we had. I know we probably can't get that back now, and I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to… but I hope we can at least _try_."

Maybe I wasn't ready for this yet. Perhaps it would set me back a good few months in my recovery process- not that I was doing so well at getting over Sam in the first place- but if all she wanted to do was_ try_…

"I can't guarantee this," I motioned between the two of us, "will work, but I am willing to at least try."

"Oh Leah. You're not going to phase are you?" she asked suddenly.

"No." I replied, confused. I looked down at my hands to check for any trembling, but- just as I suspected- they were stone still.

"Good." She closed the distance between us in four long strides before wrapping her arms around my waist. "You don't know how much I've missed you, Leah." I felt something wet on my shoulder and I realised it was her tears.

I patted her back awkwardly, "I've missed you too." And it was the truth. I had missed her. A lot. Over the past year I had needed a friend, a best friend- her- so many times, but I'd had no one to turn to. She was right- things would never be the same again, we could never go back to how we were, but perhaps, I hoped, I may just have a friend.

She pulled back quickly, her eyes were wet as she looked up at me, the tears from her right eye running down one of the lines of her scar, the salty water tracing the red, crinkled flesh almost perfectly.

"That being said," she smiled, "there's something I want to ask you."

"Oh?"

She took a few steps back, although she was still closer than she had been when she'd first found me. She started playing with the hem of her shirt again; twisting and untwisting it round her thin fingers.

Well, where to begin?" she pondered, asking the question almost as if to herself. "I was so relieved when you joined the pack. I thought that you know… with you knowing all the secrets maybe we could be friends again."

I quickly cut her off, "Emily, I've agreed to try this."

"I know. I know. It's just that when I was thinking about the fact that we might be friends again, it got me thinking about how we used to be and…well… I just…"

"Spit it out Emily."

Taking my advice she rushed out her next sentence as if it was one word, "I would really like for you to be my bridesmaid."

Out of all the things I had been expecting her to ask, that had not been it. I stood there for a long minute, totally dumbstruck, my mouth popping open and closed like a fish as I tried to form words.

"I'm so sorry if I upset you, Leah," she gasped, "I don't want to hurt you, and you can say no if you want. It's just I remembered that when we were little we always used to say that we'd be each other's bridesmaids. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have than you." She ended simply.

I took a minute to think about it. I didn't want to be her bridesmaid. She was marrying _Sam _for Christ sake- the love of my life, the man I still had feelings for. If I agreed, I would have to walk down the aisle towards him, the way I dreamed of so many times, and then turn to the left and stand there at the sidelines, having a front row ticket to as my cousin became Mrs. Samuel Uley, taking the name I'd so frequently covered my notebooks in when I was still in school. That would be excruciatingly painful for me to say the least.

But I reasoned I _had_ just agreed to give our friendship a go. And perhaps it would be a good thing if I accepted. Maybe, if I agreed to be such an integral part of their 'special day' they would see that I was over Sam, that I'd moved on. It couldn't be further from the truth but I was ashamed of my pining for Sam, I wanted to be strong, like my mother. I wanted everyone to think I was fine. If I agreed to this then maybe people would see me as I wanted to be seen- as a strong, stoic, and fearless woman, instead of the weak, broken and afraid little girl I felt I was. Maybe then people would stop pitying me. I hated it, having to put up with the sympathetic gazes of the whole reservation. Maybe this was a lifeline for me, a way to make it all stop.

Emily turned back towards the house, obviously taking my silence as a no, "I see." She said quietly.

I leapt forward, grabbing her by the elbow as gently as I could while still managing to turn her around to face me, "Wait! I umm…"I hadn't thought about how I was going to respond. I couldn't exactly say that I'd love to; she'd see through that straight away, "I think I'd umm…like to accept." I finally managed to blurt out, keeping my eyes firmly on the ground as I released her arm.

"Oh Leah," she exclaimed softly as she embraced me again, "Thank you. Thank you _so_ much."

I patted her back much like I'd done during our first hug; I wasn't comfortable with hugging her back just yet.

"We should get back." I said lamely after she didn't show any signs of pulling back.

We started off towards the house at a slow pace and she felt the need to cover up what could have been a very awkward silence by gushing about her wedding plans in an almost non-stop ramble.

"I've asked Kim to be a bridesmaid too, have you met her yet?" I shook my head. I hadn't had the time, or the inclination to meet Jared's imprint yet, not that he was exactly dying to introduce us, "Oh well, I'm sure you will soon. And I've already asked Amanda to be my Maid of Honour, well Chief Bridesmaid as she's already married. I would have asked you but…"

I held up my hands, "It's fine," Emily smiled shyly, almost as if in embarrassment, "How is Amanda anyway?"

Personally I was glad that Emily hadn't asked me to do it, I don't know if my newfound tolerance of her would stretch that far. Plus, I was glad that Emily's sister would be up there with me, I knew she'd be supportive.

"Oh she's fine. Got a baby scan soon. They're finding out the sex and she and Steve want to go shopping for baby stuff afterward so she's asked if I can watch the kids for her. I love them to pieces but I can't say I'm particularly looking forward to it; Claire is most definitely going through the terrible two's at the moment, I've heard she's quite the handful."

She chuckled, obviously remembering something that little Claire had done, but I remained silent. All this talk about babies was reminding me that I still hadn't had my period. Despite Quil's reservations, I knew I definitely wasn't pregnant but something had been playing on my mind ever since that night on patrol; had my periods stopped because I was a wolf? Was there something wrong with me, other than turning into werewolf? I decided- as I always did when these thoughts started to worry me- that I would wait until my next period was due before I panicked.

Emily's continued attempt at making conversation snapped me from my concerns: "They're going to be having a big party for her third birthday. You know, because it's her last birthday before the new arrival comes. They did the same for Hannah a few months ago. Although they're sticking with a princess theme for Claire's- Hannah's was pirates. What five-year-old girl do you know that wants to be a pirate for their party?" Emily chuckled, shaking her head. "You should come along."

I mumbled a maybe as we reached the house. Once inside I quickly sat next to Natalie again and avoided talking to her when I could; I had a lot to ponder.

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A/N: Ok so I'm really curious to hear your feedback on this chapter, more so than any other (especially given the Emily interaction), so please review!


	8. 8 Chase

A/N: Hi guys, once again thanks so much for the reviews, favourites and alerts, please keep them coming!

This is the point in the story that we're finally getting to the Eclipse plot!

**Akira M**: Loved your review, just wished I could have replied in person to it, so I'll do it here instead. I included Leah agreeing to be a bridesmaid simply because it's mentioned in the book- a choice of Leah's that I'm still baffled by. I was going to have her reject it at first and then accept later but every time I tried writing it that way it just came out forced.

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It had been a long afternoon. A long, drawn out afternoon. When Emily and I had got back from our little chat Seth had already disappeared to go out on patrol, although the story to Charlie and Natalie had been that he had a ton of homework to do- which was probably also true.

I had mainly kept myself to myself, answering questions and comments only directly aimed at me and not bothering to get involved in any conversations. Billy, Jacob and Charlie had their eyes glued to the TV set and my mom made polite conversation with Emily and the Uley's. I, on the other hand, was too lost in the convoluted inner workings of my mind to participate in the 'friendly' get-together.

How had my afternoon changed so drastically? Why did I agree to try and be Emily's friend again? Was it because I thought it would make it easier on me if I stopped fighting, or was it because I'd felt a pang of guilt at her desperate plea? I didn't know. I knew logically that I had no reason to feel guilty, she _should_ feel bad, but I couldn't help but see a spark of the girl she had been- before any of the werewolf crap- the girl who was my best friend, the girl who cared about me, in her pleading eyes.

But then why had I agreed to be her bridesmaid? I knew that I wouldn't have accepted out of sheer guilt- we all had our limits and mine simply wasn't that high- so why I had I? Maybe I had been right when we'd been behind Jacob's garage; perhaps all the pity glances and whispering would stop if I put on a brave front instead of wallowing in my own misery. Was I willing to pay the price to make it all go away? Yes I was willing, and it was too late to reconsider now anyway, I had already agreed.

I knew it was more than that though. More than putting an end to the sympathetic gazes and being viewed as a martyr, just being seen as '_poor little Leah Clearwater_.' I wanted to escape the hold that Sam had on me. I didn't want to_ love_ him anymore; I didn't want to still be tied to him. I didn't want to be helpless anymore. I realised, with no small amount of shock, that I was beginning to accept the imprint. I didn't like it- In fact I hated it, not least because of what it had done to me. But I realised that I was beginning to understand it. I had seen in both Sam and Jared's mind's what imprinting would do to a person. Jared frequently remembered when he'd first looked at Kim, and he likened it to the universe being rearranged in front of his eyes. It was hard to deny that imprinting was a strong force, inescapable even. Somehow at some point I had slowly come to accept that Sam and Emily had not acted out of purely selfish and uncaring intentions.

Still, it had annoyed me when Emily confessed to being relived that I was a wolf and now knew the secret. Yes, I admit, the new knowledge I had gained since joining the pack must have made things easier for her. My very recent realisation of accepting imprinting was proof of that. Yet it seemed as though she hadn't really considered what the implications were of being the only female wolf, especially at this particular low point in my life. I pushed these thoughts back, determined not to dwell on Emily's bad points now that we had agreed to try and get on.

She ruined my new resolve however, when she announced in an overly happy tone, "Leah's going to be my bridesmaid."

Why did she have to go and ruin it? I had been doing so well at keeping my negative thoughts of her at bay. Why did she have to go and announce the news to a room full of people?

"That's um…great." Sam managed to splutter out, trying- and failing miserably- to keep the surprise and confusion from his tone.

"Is that true, Leah?" My mom asked, leaning forward from her seat on the sofa.

I made eye contact with her, avoiding the confused stares of the rest of the people in attendance as I nodded. Sue's face broke out into a massive, eye-crinkling grin and I knew then that I had made the right decision. I would walk through hell a thousand times to see my mothers face light up like that, the first time it'd done so since my father had died. I was able to return her smile- although probably a much watered down version- easily knowing that I had managed to please her so much.

I could see Jacob, from his position sprawled out across the floor, cast his head repeatedly back and forth between me, Sam and Emily, his mouth hanging wide enough to catch small birds never mind flies. His eyes were almost as wide as his mouth, bulging out of his head in a way I thought could only be achieved in cartoons. He quickly stopped his staring, turning his attention back to the TV, when he caught my death glare- although his features still betrayed his obvious surprise.

I observed, while his eyes still followed the game, that Jacob had grown up a lot in the past few months. When we were younger he'd simply been my friends little baby brother and my dads' best friends' son. We'd been forced together on many occasions- fishing trips, dinner at each others' houses, family gatherings- and he'd always spent most of his time with Seth, who'd often followed him around like Jacob was his idol. He'd never been geeky per say, he was much too popular for that and his interests swayed more towards cars and girls than schoolwork, but he'd been a bit shy, awkward even and preferred to spend most of his time with his two best friends, Quil and Embry.

Now though, he was beginning to look more like Sam. The planes of his face had lost their childish roundness and he'd grown tall, impossibly tall, and filled out. He looked more like a twenty-five year old man than the sixteen-year-old boy he was. Despite his actions, his face showed signs of maturity, and I wondered if that had anything to do with the fact that he was supposed to be Alpha. I also wondered if his height had anything to do with that; he and Sam were easily the tallest and broadest among the wolves.

As I finished my observations Jacob leapt up, ambling along to front door as he prattled off some excuse about going to Quil's house. They both had patrol with Embry this evening. The game ended eventually, Billy earning $20 from Charlie as his team won, and Sue and I slowly made our way home.

…..

It was late and I was just about to peal off my shorts and climb into bed when I heard three short howls followed by a much longer one. I knew what that meant; reinforcements were needed. I groaned, eyeing my bed longingly before running as fast as I could out of the house and towards the forest. Seth joined me as I reached the back door and we took off together before I darted behind some trees, out of his view, tying my clothes to my legs before allowing the heat to roll up my spine.

'_What's going on?'_ Seth asked.

'_We caught a scent... the red-head... it's fresh.'_ Embry delivered in short, broken thoughts, his concentration focussed on trying to keep up with Jacob who was whipping through the trees at a blinding pace ahead of him.

'_Wait for us to join you.'_ It wasn't a command, but Sam's request had a serious tone, his obvious concern for Quil, Embry and Jacob radiated through all of minds as we raced to meet them.

'_Can't.'_ Jacob said, his nose to the ground. His thoughts were disjointed, panicked. He knew that the red-head was after Bella- something about avenging her mate- and he was determined to catch her. He just kept chanting _'Can't get to Bella, can't get to Bella,' _over and over in his head, matching the thoughts to the rhythm of his paws as they pounded frantically on the forest floor, tearing ferns and undergrowth from their roots as he went.

Seth and I raced south through the trees, keeping side by side as both Paul and Jared phased to join us.

Sam tried to reason with Jacob again, _'I'm almost there now Jake. Seth and Leah aren't too far behind, wait for us.' _

'_Can't. The bloodsuckers might not be keeping an eye on Bella, she might be alone.'_ Images from Jacob's mind flooded through me; Bella, lifeless, her body broken and drained. _'Shit!'_ he exclaimed.

I could see what had caused his anger, the sickly sweet scent of the vampire trail flowed right over the treaty line. We wouldn't be able to go any further, not without risking a war.

We caught up to them then, Jacob and Sam heatedly debating whether to break the treaty or not.

'_It's not worth it Jacob. __You know I'd love to tear them apart myself,'_ my face flashed in Sam's mind. I didn't have a chance to wonder why, as his thoughts quickly turned to the fact that if it hadn't been for the Cullen's moving here he'd never have broken my heart.

We were all huddled in a group now, and I stared right at Sam as I tried to figure out how to react to his thoughts. He'd never take back that he'd found Emily- he loved her far too much- but he knew that if the Cullen's hadn't moved to Forks then we'd still be together, happily together. Before he could cut it off his train of thought an image of a ring popped into my head. An engagement ring; one that he'd intended on giving to me. So I had been right; he had been about to propose.

I snarled furiously; I didn't need to see that, I was trying to get better. That was just twisting the knife in deeper.

'_I'm sorry.' _

I snarled again, sorry just wasn't good enough. The fur on my hackles rose as I coiled my body ready to launch myself at him.

'_Enough!'_ he commanded, _'I'm sorry, I truly am, but right now we have more important things to focus on.'_ He turned away from me as my body succumbed to the double-timbre of the Alpha command and my knees gave way beneath me. Instead, he looked at Jacob, _'We _will_ honour the treaty our forefathers made. Don't let your personal views affect how you conduct yourself within the pack,'_ he shot a look at me- I wasn't sure if the comment spoken to Jacob was also aimed at me or whether he was trying to defend the fact that his command had literally left me in the dirt.

'_Stop your moaning, Leah,'_ Paul casually responded to my thoughts, _'It's not that bad, you'll be able to move in a minute.'_

'_Shut up, Paul'_ I growled as Seth nudged my flank with his sandy colored snout, encouraging me to get up.

Paul's brain must be tiny if he hadn't registered that I had to endure far more effects of the Alpha command than the rest of them- I was the only one who was forced to kneel before my ex, to bend to his will, to the rest he was just their leader.

Paul growled at my assessment of his intelligence, or lack thereof.

'_Focus guys,'_ Sam ordered, his eyes flicking back to Jacob who was quickly pacing on the edge of the treaty line where Victoria had escaped, clearly getting angsty. _'We'll spread out, no one crosses the line,' _he said, still looking at Jacob's tense figure,_ 'keep in pairs. Embry, Quil, you stay here. Seth, Paul, you go further south. Jake and I will go north, Jared and Leah you two stay half way between us and here.'_

With that they quickly set off. I pulled myself up from the ground, humiliated, and followed Jacob and Sam with Jared. We stopped about three miles away, letting Jacob and Sam continue further north as planned. We set to work, pacing the invisible treaty line, keeping our eyes on the darkness of the wood ahead, waiting for the leeches return. I kept my body tense, ready to spring and attack at a moments notice, everyone was on edge. Jared had the best eyesight out of the pack, so if there was a breach at our end he'd be the first one to see it. Even though I'd never actually come across a leech before I knew that with his vision and my speed we would make light work of the red-head.

There was no sign of her as the minutes dragged on. Our minds were completely focussed, working in unison as we waited; there was no way she was getting past us. Without warning, just as we were considering the possibility that she wouldn't return, Jacob and Sam suddenly caught her scent.

I was struck by how disgusting the fresh scent was- it reminded me of bleach- as we all raced north to help. Jared and I were the closest to Sam and Jacob and due to my speed I reached them long before he did.

'_She crossed over further north.'_ Sam informed me as we darted through the trees like missiles, before announcing to the group, _'Be careful guys, she's sticking tight to the line, and we don't want to cross over.' _Panic filled his mind as he thought about the implications of such a breach of the treaty; he didn't want to provoke anything, pack safety his number one concern.

I could tell we were getting closer, the scent was becoming over-powering and instinct propelled me further forward and I was reaching speeds that I never had before.

'_Slow down Leah,'_ Sam said sternly. _'Don't get too far ahead of us.'_ He thought of my small form, both as a wolf and as a human. I didn't have nearly as many muscles as the rest of the pack- thankfully- and my head only just about reached his and Jacob's shoulders when we were all wolves. I only just came in line with the shoulders of the rest of the pack. He assessed that I wasn't nearly as strong as them.

I growled, but pulled back anyway; I didn't want to face the red-head alone- even if I did disagree with Sam. The rest of the pack soon caught up to us and we continued to push forward as a unit.

Jacob's thoughts had taken on a sort of serene, calming quality as he ploughed on further, digging his huge paws deeper and deeper into the earth to propel himself faster. He was anticipating that this whole thing would be over with soon enough; we would catch her and she would die. Then, I caught him reasoning, maybe he'd be able to move on, to get over Bella when he longer had to defend her.

His calm revere was broken when, all at the same time, we realised that the leech smell had intensified exponentially. But it wasn't just Victoria that we could detect, new scents assaulted our noses, all still sickly-sweet.

Jacob veered right, towards the treaty line to investigate. I could see through his eyes six vampires, right on the other side of the line, running furiously north, as we were.

'_It's the Cullens.'_ Jacob called.

'_Right,'_ Sam quickly went into Alpha mode, assessing all the risks that the new arrivals brought with them, _'Quil, Leah and Seth I want you to stay back.'_

We all instantly protested- Quil was up for a good fight with the red-head, Seth didn't want to be treated like a kid and I didn't want to be treated differently just because I was a girl.

'_It's not that,'_ Sam said tiredly in complete contrast to his energetic leap over the river, _'The mind readers not with them. This gives us the perfect opportunity to keep our numbers a secret.'_

I supposed it made sense. No doubt Bella had told the Cullens all about the wolf pack she had gotten to know upon their return a couple of months ago. The three of us that Sam was keeping behind hadn't phased by that point, they didn't know about us and Sam wanted to keep it that way. It was understandable, but I still didn't like it, and neither did Seth or Quil.

Knowing how deadly serious Sam had been and not wanting to be subjected to another Alpha command I abruptly skidded to a halt, my claws just curling around the top of the river bank. Seth and Quil both came to sit by me as the rest of the pack gracefully leapt over the water, deftly avoiding colliding with any branches, joining the others in pursuit.

It was difficult to sit still with the pack so on edge, all hyperaware yet trying not to let their instincts take over as they were so close to coven of vampires our tribe had decided to let exist. I started pacing up and down the steep bank, watching the forest fly past through their eyes.

Victoria's flame like hair came into view from Jacob's point of view. It billowed and twisted, fanning out behind her as she raced through the forest. The others caught up quickly and I now had five different views of her as she snaked her way through the undergrowth. Their thoughts were all in perfect synchronisation, the instinct to kill overpowering almost every conscious thought. Their paws pounded the earth at the same time, creating a drum beat sound that reverberated off the bark of the trees. The five members of the pack progressed as one, a sea of different colors all melding together- russet, black, brown, silver and dark grey- all moving together. It would have been awe inspiring to watch if I had been closer- and if the pack's sole focus and sheer determination wasn't leaking into my thoughts.

I was finding it increasingly difficult not to join in, they were so close to her now, but suddenly a blur of white sprang from the other side of the treaty line, _their_ side. We watched as the biggest Cullen pounced towards Victoria. His fingers grazed her back, but she was too fast. Seth whined loudly as we watched the big leech fall, propelled by the momentum of his leap, crossing straight over the boundary line, crashing into Paul with a loud thud and landed on his feet. The move was so graceful that it would have looked odd on his hulking frame, had I not been spending so much time with guys bigger than him and able to perform the same kind of manoeuvres.

I could tell instantly that Paul was beyond furious, and for once I couldn't blame him- the vampire had been right on top of him _and_ had crossed over the line. Before anyone could even think, Paul sprang for him but the leech managed to get over the treaty line just as Paul's teeth came within inches of his back.

'_IDIOT PARASITE!'_ Paul roared, snarling furiously as the blonde leech, possibly the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, crouched into an attack position, hissing and ready to spring.

Sam and Jacob rushed to cover Paul's flanks, ready to tear the vampires to pieces if need be. Sensing that this was going to turn into an all out war, I quickly leapt over the river, trying to rush to their side.

'_STAY BACK__.'_ Sam commanded. The stress of the situation meant that the double-timbre had come out much more forcefully than he'd intended and I instantly fell to the ground, buckling under the weight of it. My nose was buried in the dirt and my limbs were frozen underneath me to the point where it was painful.

'_Sorry.'_ The sheer remorse in Sam's tone stopped me from yelling back at him.

I had just managed to pick myself up when a sudden wave of calm washed over me. It felt odd, something was extremely wrong, but even knowing this I still felt relaxed, almost to the point of sleep.

The two blond male vampires stepped forwards, staying well back from the treaty line but still taking point ahead of the rest of their coven. One wore a concerned expression while the other looked like he was deeply concentrating.

'_Do you guys feel that?'_ Jared asked.

'_Yeah, it kinda feel's like I'm stoned.'_ Embry replied.

'_What is that?'_ Paul asked, but we were all wondering the same thing. Everyone except Jacob:

'_It's the leech. He can control emotions.'_

We all processed that; the pack had been alarmed and disappointed when Bella had confirmed that vampires had special abilities, it was entirely different to witness the effects of them first hand. I didn't have time to ponder it further as one of vampires, clearly the leader of the coven, started talking.

"I apologise for my son," he started, motioning towards the big one. I scoffed at his choice of expression- he wasn't their father, he was their sire- "he meant no ill will."

Paul growled at the bloodsuckers' assessment but he continued, unperturbed, casting his gaze across each of the wolves that stood facing him "I'm sure you'll appreciate that we're just as determined to catch Victoria as you are. Emmett was hasty, perhaps a bit reckless, but he didn't mean to cross over the boundary. That being said, we are prepared to take precautions. I think we can all agree that the pursuit of Victoria is our number one priority at the moment. I'd like to get back to it as soon as possible and from this point forward we'll retreat from the edge of the line, and stay well on our side."

Sam took a moment to think about it before nodding swiftly, _'I suppose that's fair,' _he said despite the fact that the leech couldn't hear him.

The pack quickly set themselves in motion again, Sam waiting until the Cullens were at a safe distance away before he allowed Quil, Seth and I to join them. I quickly caught up, tracing the scent of the red-head as we made our way north. We spread out in a line to cover more ground, Jacob and Sam close to the treaty line while I ran at the opposite end, next to Seth. We closed in again, all converging at one point as the line hugged the shore. The Cullen's were able to get closer to us now, so once again the three of us had to hold back.

With great annoyance, especially on Jacob's part, the pack realised that Victoria's scent ended at the coast; she'd escaped. There was no way we'd be able to catch her in the water, _we_ needed to breathe. The Cullen's realised this too and I could see through Sam's eyes that two of them- the big one who'd crashed into Paul and the one with the scars- were asking for permission to cross the treaty line. Sam didn't need the growls emanating from the pack to deny them and he quickly shook his head.

We spread out along the line again, Seth, Quil and I making sure to stay out of sight of the vampire coven but we knew that the red-head wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. Eventually Sam ordered most of us home to get some rest while he continued patrolling with Jacob and Embry.

Heading home, I eventually managed to get into bed at four, and quickly fell asleep.

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A/N: Ok, so long chapter! Again, I'm hoping to keep to my posting schedule of Sunday/ Wednesday but I'm really, really sick at the moment, so Wednesday's might be a little late, depending on how I feel!

In fab news, my interview for the sub-editor job went really, really well. In bad news, while I was in the interview someone hit my car, though thankfully they did leave a note. Anywho, I'm sure you don't care about my pathetic ramblings so I'll shut up now.

Oh, and please find it in your heart to leave a quick review, I'm sure it won't make my flu disappear but at least it'll bring a smile to my face!


	9. 9 Female

**A/N: Sorry this chapter's a bit late, I went to bed early last night like the old lady I am. **

**I've also changed the character description from Leah/ Jacob to just Leah as it was confusing some people. Sorry about that. I only listed Jacob as a main character because he's so involved with the Eclipse plot. For most of the book the only way the wolves find out what's going is through Jake speaking to Bella. So just to make clear that this fic is not going to be Blackwater, as much as I secretly wish it was! **

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After my eventful weekend I was glad when Monday arrived. Victoria hadn't made an appearance yesterday but we weren't kidding ourselves, she would definitely be back, we just didn't know when or where.

It was school hours, so I was on patrol with Sam and Paul, still mulling over what had been praying on my mind since Saturday night. When Jacob had been panicking that Bella could be in danger I saw why Victoria was chasing her. Bella'd told Jacob that her leech, Edward, had killed the red-head's mate- John? James? Justin?- because he'd tried to kill Bella.

I had come to the realisation that had it not been for Bella involving herself in a world that she clearly didn't belong in then Victoria wouldn't be prowling around La Push, waiting for a drop in out defences. If Victoria had never come to Forks in the first place then maybe there wouldn't be a need for more than a few wolves. Maybe I'd have never phased in the first place if Bella Swan could just stick to her own species. Upon that I realisation I no longer merely disliked Bella- for her vampire preferences and ability to treat people who loved her like crap, as she'd done when she'd simply cast Jacob aside- I hated her.

'_Don't let Jacob catch you thinking that.'_ Paul scoffed from his position on the inner perimeter as Sam and I continued our half circles on the outer stretch.

'_Well it's true.'_ I argued.

'_It's an interesting theory.'_ Sam pondered.

Paul interjected, _'Nah, I think we'd all be phasing anyway, what with a huge coven of bloodsuckers just up the road. I know Bella can be annoying but I don't think you can blame her for this. Hate is a strong word, Leah.'_

'_It's more than that,' _I pressed,_ 'It's not just the fact that I think she's the reason I burst out of my skin. You've seen Jacob's thoughts, hell you were around for most of it, she used Jake while she was waiting for her leech to return. She knew he was in love with her and still she kept him around. Then they make their triumphant return and poof…she drops Jacob like hot potato.'_

'_Aww, you getting all sentimental on us Leah?' _he teased.

'_No. I just know how it feels to be cast aside.'_

Sam's thoughts were laced with guilt, though he tried to continue what he was doing, focusing on sniffing out every last fern frond near him in order to block out his thoughts.

'_I still say you're turning all mother hen on us.'_ Paul grumbled.

His thought brought me back to the other topic that had been plaguing me almost every waking hour, and a few of the hours I spent asleep too. Mother hen. Could I be a mother? Had that been lost along with my humanity? I still hadn't had my period and, despite my promises not to panic until next month, I was fairly certain it wasn't ever going to return.

'_Gross, Leah. I don't need to hear that. Could you at least attempt to control your thoughts? Urg.'_ Paul snapped.

I used my well developed sarcasm skills to the best of my ability as I responded,_ 'Oh I'm so sorry that my problems aren't to your liking. Please do tell me Paul, what should I worry about?' _

'_Anything but that.' _He shuddered.

Men! How many times had I had to put up with his insufferable thoughts about women? What date he was going on that night, who he was hoping to see that day? Plenty of times. Although I'd been informed by Seth that Paul had at least toned down his thoughts about the opposite sex since I'd joined the pack.

'_Yeah I have. You're such a buzz kill, Leah,'_ he complained, remembering what the pack had been like before I'd joined, a resentful tone coloring his thoughts.

Apparently the guys had thought nothing of sharing their most intimate details with each other before I'd come along. If Kim knew that the guys had all seen her like _that _then I'm pretty sure she'd be mortified. And I couldn't even think of my 'women's problems'- which were a legitimate concern- without getting an earful.

'_I just don't want to hear about your…stuff. It's not like I actually care about what goes on…down there__. Well not in that sense anyway,' _he barked a laugh,_ 'and not from you.'_

'_Oh Paul, and here I was hoping that you'd want to jump my bones,'_ I sent out an image of me retching in disgust just to prove how much I didn't want that to be the case.

Sam stayed quiet during our debate but I could feel the waves of embarrassment and displeasure rolling off of him as I thought of my 'problem.' I could feel myself getting more and more upset by the situation. I didn't expect any of them to understand, but the least they could do is just leave me to worry about it in peace, instead of just wishing I'd shut up. I tried to bottle up my emotions and just carry on.

'_You can head off if you want,'_ Sam offered quietly, _'There's no fresh scent, I'm sure me and Paul can take it from here.' _

I huffed my agreement before veering left, taking the most direct route through the forest back to my house. I must have been about twenty miles away from La Push but in a matter of minutes I'd reached my destination. Phasing back, I threw on my dress before making my way inside.

"Hi honey," my mom greeted brightly as Billy nodded in my direction.

Both of them were sat round the kitchen table, mugs in hand, no doubt gossiping about their wolfy children.

"Hey," I replied, heading into the lounge and flopping down on the sofa.

Spreading myself out so that I lay across all three seats, I started aimlessly flicking through the channels. There was nothing on and, after cycling through all the channels three times, I eventually settled on an old Diagnosis Murder repeat. I wasn't really paying attention to it, although I had managed to glean that the hospital was on lockdown with some crazed psycho murderer running around the halls. Instead I replayed my argument with Paul. I knew that the guys couldn't empathise with my situation- even most women wouldn't be able to do that fully- but did he have to be such a jerk about it? Yes, it was _Paul_, of course he did. But then the other guys had often reacted in a similar way whenever the topic came up.

I'll admit a part of me was using my worries as an excuse- a distraction to keep me from pining after Sam. It was easy to get wrapped up in fretting over my lack of period, and it was my best method of blocking out other thoughts- thoughts about Sam, thoughts about my feelings for Sam, remembering how good we used to be together. I hadn't found a better way of keeping those thoughts at bay.

I sat up quickly as realisation dawned on me. When I'd been fighting with Paul all my thoughts about Sam had vanished. I was still aware that he was in my head and I in his- but he lurked in the recesses, the thoughts I usually tried so desperately to contain had been completely repressed. Maybe that was the key; when I was arguing with someone my stubborn nature prevailed, making me focus solely on winning, on beating down my opponent and as a result I didn't have to hide the shame and embarrassment I felt at my thoughts over Sam because, for the time being at least, they were not my main priority. I didn't have time to develop my new discovery further as Billy wheeled himself into the lounge, closely followed by my mother.

She set herself down in the armchair and she and Billy carried on their chatter from the kitchen, asking me my opinion as they went. It was mainly old woman gossip that Billy was often partial too, interspersed with official elder business. Diagnosis Murder soon finished and was replaced by a Murder She Wrote double bill. Sue and Billy started watching it but soon fell back into their regular pattern of conversation.

I loved Billy; he'd been so kind to us, especially to my mom, since dad had passed. When I'd been growing up I'd sometimes viewed Billy as a second dad with the amount of time I'd spend at the Blacks house with the twins. However, his near constant presence in my house over the past month and a half was really starting to grate on me. He was a nice guy- pretty laid back as far as dads' go- but his obvious concern was unwelcome- on my part at least. I just wanted to be left in peace to deal with things _my_ way- I hadn't needed anyone since Sam, it'd left me vulnerable and I didn't want to be in that position again- I didn't need Billy poking his nose in, as he so often did when he thought someone needed help.

After the fifth time he'd asked me if I was alright- and the ninth concerned gaze he'd shot my way- I'd given up on trying to have a peaceful afternoon at home and, after grabbing two huge sandwiches and scoffing them down quickly, I left to go on a run.

The speed being a wolf brought me was exhilarating to say the least. In fact, if I had my head to myself every once in a while then I was sure that I could happily spend hours running through the forest as fast as I could go. Despite the fact that I hated my wolf form, the speed calmed me and I had found that running was a good way of burning off my frustration.

Billy called after me as I left the house, "If you see Jacob can you let him know that we're eating at the Ateara's tonight?"

School was over by now so I hoped that Paul and Sam had traded off with some of the younger one's- I didn't need to be in their heads again. I stripped down and phased, relieved to find that it was Seth and Jacob on patrol.

I was instantly hit with an image of Bella, curled up on the forest floor.

'_Man, I can't believe you showed him that,'_ Seth laughed.

'_Yeah you should have seen his face,'_ Jacob replied, sending out an image of Bella's bloodsucker, his stony face contorted in pain.

'_What did I miss?'_ I butted in, running to take the southern sweep as both Jacob and Seth were running north, almost side by side.

Jacob quickly replayed the events of that morning. I knew that he'd gone to Forks High to warn the Cullens about over-stepping the treaty again. On Saturday night, as I was running home with Seth, I'd caught Sam thinking about how to deliver the message; he wasn't sure how to get in contact with them. He didn't want to encroach on Cullen territory and thought that Forks would be the perfect place. Jacob had then offered to go in his place.

Jacob would make sure that Bella was going to school, as Edward would be with her, and deliver the message then. Jacob knew from an earlier confrontation with Edward- when he'd given Charlie Bella's motorbike- that Edward wouldn't try anything with Bella there. He also wanted to make sure he didn't phase either, so a place with witnesses was needed. Sam agreed on the proviso that Quil and Embry would wait in the forest nearby, just in case things turned sour.

Jacob had been restless all day yesterday- his frequent calls to Bella had gone unanswered.

'_So then, they both turn up in the parking lot,'_ Jacob continued. _'Of course the bloodsucker already knew what I was going to say. Then I find out that he didn't even bother telling Bella what went down on Saturday.'_

Abruptly my mind filled with the image of Bella Swan, deathly pale, sucking in gasps of air and swaying lightly as she found out that red-head had made an appearance. What a flake!

Jacob growled at my assessment but carried on, _'So we argued back and forth for a bit. The leech was saying it was better to keep her in the dark. I may have casually mentioned that Bella had been through worse when he'd left her and I gave him a nice mental image to go along with it.'_ He laughed.

Seth started paying attention to the conversation now that Jacob wasn't repeating himself.

'_I was having way too much fun teasing him but then the principal came out, though before I left I told Bella I'd like to see her again. On our side of the treaty line__, of course. Edward's reaction was priceless.'_

'_You invited her down to La Push.'_I stated, disbelief coloring the tone of my thoughts.

'_Well yeah… I miss her,'_ he said sheepishly.

'_Thought you were trying to get over her?'_

'_I am.'_

'_Then why'd you do it? And don't tell me it was just to wind up the leech, I could tell you were being sincere when you said it.'_

'_Urg, for Christ sake, Leah! No, I didn't do it just to the get to the parasite. I actually miss my friend. Not that you would know anything about having friends.'_

I snarled, instantly furious. Who the hell did he think he was?

'_I umm…I've got some homework to do,'_ Seth thought awkwardly, obviously trying desperately to find an excuse to leave, _'So…um…see you later.' _

He abruptly turned from Jacob and started off towards our house.

'_I was only wondering what on _earth_ you were thinking, Jake. You didn't need to get all personal.'_ I growled.

'_Just keep your nose out of my business.'_

'_Oh like it's that easy. Tell you what, I'll keep out of your business when you_ stop_ thinking about it, that sound fair?'_

'_Hypocritical much, Leah,'_ he thought viciously as we felt Seth phase out, _'You of all people should know how difficult it is to control you thoughts.' _

It was true; I'd give anything not to think of Sam when we were phased. Actually I'd give anything to not think about Sam full stop.

'_I was just trying to help.'_ I muttered.

'_Of course you were.'_ Jacob retorted, sarcasm heavy in his tone.

'_All I was going to say- if you did have ulterior motives for inviting Bella down- is not to bother. Give it up while you still have your dignity.' _

'_I wasn't going to try and… I don't know… _seduce_ her or anything Leah. I'm not interested in panting after something I can't have,'_ he said heatedly. I thought he'd finished, then, in almost a whisper, he added, _'…we're not all like you.'_

'_Do you know what Jacob? I don't need this.' _I snarled, turning back the way I'd come.

My plan was to get home as quickly as possible, although I didn't know how I was going to be able to phase back, I was beyond furious. I blocked Jacob out completely, too focused on my goal. I wouldn't have even been able to say what part of the forest he was running in.

Instead, I concentrated on the fast, steady pace of my paws pounding into the earth, my body contracting and stretching with each stride, calming me as I went. I finally reached a small clearing. It was a about a mile away from my house, but I didn't mind the walk.

I knew I was alone so I quickly phased back and stretched out all my muscles, tense from my sudden run, and slowly untied my clothes and put them back on. I hadn't even taken two steps towards my house before I realised that I hadn't passed on Billy's message to Jacob.

Cursing, I quickly debated the pro's and con's of phasing back to wolf to tell Jacob. I really didn't want to be in his head again. If Seth_ had _gone home to do homework then I could tell him to do it for me, but he'd probably, along with the rest of the pack, gone straight to Emily's, and I didn't want to call or visit her. I could just not tell him that he was supposed to be at the Ateara's later but then I'd probably get moaned at by my mother, or Billy, or both and I really didn't want to deal with that. Groaning, I realised that I would have to be the one to deliver the message.

I stripped back down quickly, reasoning that I was only going to stay phased just long enough to give him the message. Naked, I let the heat roll up my spine, changing my shape as the silent shimmer pulsed through the air.

'_Wow…nice.' _

Jacob clearly hadn't felt me phase back in, too wrapped up in his own thoughts, although I couldn't work out what they were about.

'_Lucky Sam! Maybe there_ are_ some perks to having a girl in the pack.'_ He continued, thinking to himself.

As soon as I realised that he was walking away from where I was an image flooded into my mind. Of me. Naked. Phasing back just moments earlier. With horror, I realised that Jacob must have been chasing me- to apologise or taunt me some more, I wasn't sure- and then, thinking I was alone, I had phased back, right in his view.

Why did I have to stop and stretch, prolonging the view? I wondered as it replaying in Jacob's mind. Then the image shifted to the first time I had phased back, when I had no clothes and Jacob had given me his shirt. Abruptly I was livid. I knew it wasn't his fault that he had seen me naked twice, but did he really have to think about those times in such detail? Did he _have_ to replay them? Were the rest of the guys going to get the Leah Show later?

'_LEAH?'_ he asked, suddenly panicked. He took off sprinting, obviously wanting to get as much distance between us as possible, so I darted after him, picking up his fresh trail with ease.

I couldn't even form a response, and just let my anger roll off of me, transferring it to him so that he got the message.

'_I'm really sorry,'_ he spluttered, clearly embarrassed, trying desperately to think about something else, and failing miserably.

'_I can't believe you!'_ I screeched.

He instantly got defensive, _'You know I didn't mean to.'_

'_It's not that you saw…well, it's not _just_ that you saw. It's what you were thinking!' _

I'd obviously said the magic words, because my naked body popped into his mind again.

'_JACOB BLACK!'_ I yelled.

'_I'm sorry.'_ He pleaded, but it was too late, I'd almost caught him now.

Just as I was about to pounce and drag my claws along his flanks, Jacob turned, veering right and skidded to a stop. I wheeled back around, stalking towards his mammoth figure slowly, coiling into a defensive crouch. My ears were flat to my head and I was snarling furiously.

'_Leah, stop.' _

'_No,'_ I growled, never breaking eye contact as I advanced forward. I was determined to inflict some damage. I kept my mind blank, not thinking about my next move; I didn't want to give him advance warning. I let the wolf instinct take over and I leapt, crashing into him head on. We tumbled, and I started to dig my claws into any part of him I could.

'_Ouch…that hurts…stop it…you know I didn't mean to.'_ He panted as we rolled down a steep bank of earth, both hitting branches on our way down.

'_As I said Jacob,'_ I spat, as we came to a stop, _'It's not what you saw that's bothering me. It's what you thought.'_

I let my mind replay the moment I'd caught him and I pushed up off the ground. I circled him, my jaws snapping.

He looked down, _'I didn't think you'd heard all of that.'_

'_Well I did.'_ I replied shortly. Didn't any of them realise what I was going through? How hard it was to be the only female? No, they just considered my naked body a 'perk' of the job, at least Jacob did. I wasn't even going to get into the whole 'lucky Sam' comment, I didn't need to open up that can of worms.

'_I _am_ sorry.' _He replied earnestly. _'But don't attack me again.'_

I could tell that his apology was less based on what I'd said but more on the fact the he was embarrassed that he'd been caught thinking about me. As second-in-command, Jacob's orders had to be followed and I could tell that he'd ordered me not to attack him when my limbs locked in place, allowing me no further. It wasn't as strong as an Alpha command, but it still served its purpose.

I gave him one last, long growl before I took off into the trees. Once I reached the clearing again, making sure this time that I didn't have anyone watching me, I phased back and ran the rest of the way home on two legs.

It was only when I got there that I realised I had failed yet again to deliver Billy's message, but by then I reasoned I have a legitimate excuse to forget.

* * *

**A/N: I must admit this is one of my least favourite chapters, probably because it's more filler than anything else. **

**Sorry about the repeated mentions of Leah's disappearing monthlies but Jacob mentions in BD about her panic during her first month of being a wolf, I'm just trying to reflect that without going too overboard!**

**As always, thanks so much for your reviews, favourites and alerts! I'd love it if more people on the alert list would review for me please (see, I'm not above begging!).**


	10. 10 Inside Information

**A/N: So I usually just write one disclaimer for my story, but this chapter has some dialogue from Eclipse so I just want to say now that I do not own Twilight, or the characters used. Enjoy!**

* * *

The days that followed my confrontation with Jacob had not been pretty. Soon enough, the whole pack had found out about our little run in- unfortunately I'd not managed to get a single deep scratch on Jacob, and apparently he'd healed before he'd even finished that patrol- so now not only did the pack have naked images of me floating around their minds, but they also felt the need to tease me about it at every given opportunity.

They somehow managed to keep it quiet around Seth and Sam. The first because, well he was my brother and that would just be a whole lot of awkward all round, and Sam because they worried about how he would react. I wasn't about to go running to Sam and tell him myself, I didn't need him to defend me, I could fight my own battles.

However, the pack was right to have been worried about his reaction. On Thursday Paul had been joking around with Jared and accidently let slip what had happened to Sam. The funny thing about it- if there was some humour to be found in this situation- was that they hadn't even been wolves at the time, Paul just opened his big fat mouth. Sam had hit the roof, called all the pack over, save for me and Seth, and unleashed a tirade of abuse over an hour long period about respecting women and treating me with a bit of sensitivity, while Emily had cast them all disapproving glares. I got the replay of that while out on patrol with Embry later that night, a bitter tone lacing his thoughts.

I smiled as I walked to the store, remembering _my_ reaction to the news. I'd run straight over to Sam's, howling in the forest until he arrived, frantic and wondering what was going on. Thankfully I'd kept the noise down so that the rest of the pack didn't come rushing out of their houses too.

I'd told Sam, in no uncertain terms that while I appreciated the gesture- we both laughed at the expression Emily'd had on her face- I could fight my own battles and I didn't need or want him to do it for me. He'd replied that it was his job to do what he did to which I'd reminded him that I was no longer his concern.

I'd been embarrassed when he'd gone on to explain that he didn't mean it in the sense that I was his ex-girlfriend, just that he had a duty to protect his pack members. I'd lost it then, fuelling by my chagrin that I had assumed he meant something more, and I attacked him.

Unlike the time with Jacob, Sam had been so surprised he was frozen to the spot and I'd actually managed to get a few good swipes in, before he'd Alpha commanded me to stop. He'd left then, presumably to clean up his fast healing wounds before getting back into bed. Embry had been furious with me, claiming that he was going to get the fallout from Sam because he'd been the one to tell me what had happened. Of course, Sam didn't do anything to Embry, but that night had managed to drive a bigger wedge between me and the pack.

The bell chimed on the door as I stepped into the small store by the beach. It mainly stocked tourist items, handmade trinkets plus the usual beach inflatable's and buckets and spades. I bypassed these aisles, heading directly to the smaller section labelled 'essentials.' It was midday on a Saturday and every other beach front shop in the world was probably ram packed with customers, but due to the cloudy day- almost ever present in Washington- the only other person in the store was Charlotte Call, Embry's mom, who was sat behind the counter reading a magazine.

My mom had sent me down here for some milk, so I picked up two cartons before eyeing a giant bag of chips, debating my hunger versus my mom moaning that I'd spent some of the money she'd given me on myself. I grabbed the bag anyway and made my way to the register.

I snorted as I spotted a stack of bright yellow leaflets on the counter. SAVE THE OLYMPIC WOLF was sprawled across the top of the page. I rolled my eyes as I noticed that the wolf on the flyer was howling at the moon, how typical.

"Hello Miss Call." I said brightly as she set sown her magazine and looked up at me, slightly startled.

"Hi dear. I didn't hear you come in," she smiled, ringing in the bag of chips, "How are you?"

She couldn't hide the curiosity from her voice, although she did manage to draw her features into a very unconvincing frown, mashing her eyebrows down as she cocked her head to the side.

"Oh I'm fine," I breezed, plastering on my best fake smile. I think I over did it a little as Charlotte swiftly pulled back, "How are you?" I asked to be polite, not really concerned with what was going on in the world of the reservations biggest gossip.

"Oh you know," she said quietly as I handed her the money, her frown genuine this time, "I've been ok."

I knew she didn't want to admit that she thought her son was going off the rails, expecting everyone to talk about what a bad mother she was. I suspected she was unaware that very few people gossip as much as she does. I think my life alone had been enough to keep her talking for months now.

She had been the one to provide La Push with the latest on 'Sam & Leah'. In fact, I once thought I heard her call us 'Lam' once, shortening our names into one like people did with celebrities because she spoke about us so often. Although that was before my wolf hearing, so I may have misheard- though I doubted it.

Deciding to give her a little payback I asked, "So how's Embry?"

She looked down then, suddenly fascinated with recounting the change she'd been about to hand to me, "Oh...you know... he's doing alright I guess. I don't see him much anymore."

"Oh you know boys," I chuckled, finally getting my change, "Always up to no good."

"Hmm," she mused as I grabbed the bag she put the groceries in before turning and making my way out the store.

I smiled on my trek back up the hill, wondering how long she'd be pondering what I'd said. I stopped suddenly as I thought of what implications this would have for Embry. Would Charlotte crack down on him more than she'd been doing so already? I shrugged and continued my walk; if I was being honest with myself I didn't really care what happened to him; he'd been angry with me for days now, serves him right.

My good mood was short lived. As soon as I set the milk in the fridge and opened my bag of chips Seth appeared.

"Jacob's called a pack meeting at Sam's, says it's important," he ducked his head through the kitchen doorway before noticing my bag of chips and striding straight over to grab a couple.

"Hey," I smacked his hand away playfully, "Do I have to go?" I whined.

"Yep." He replied, talking through a mouth full of chips.

"Doesn't someone need to patrol? We can't all be over at Sam's at the same time."

He rolled his eyes, "Quil and Embry are already on it. Jake said he'd fill them in later."

Groaning, I set off with him towards Sam and Emily's house. I really didn't want to have to go there. I had been finding that trying to be friends with Emily, or at least cordial to her, was much easier when she wasn't around.

I reluctantly shared my chips as we ambled along, still setting a pace that would have humans racing to catch up due to our long legs. With great relief my growing seemed to have stopped, but I was still the tallest female in La Push and Forks combined.

At least my relationship with Seth had improved. We talked more now that he didn't have to keep any secrets from me. I could tell that he was still uncomfortable with having his sister in the pack, we both were, but due to his generally cheery nature he hid it well. I think he resented the fact that I was over-protective of him, thinking it was holding him back from being one of the guys but- werewolf or not- he was still my baby brother, I _had_ to look out for him.

Seth was still very gangly in wolf form, a reflection of his true age and not the eighteen-year-old he looked as a human. He bounded up the porch steps ahead of me and, like he owned the place, simply walked in without knocking.

Sam had gone out and bought some more dining chairs since the pack had grown. There were too many to fit comfortably round the table so, Seth had informed me once, they were usually stacked up in the corner. Now though, they were spread out around the circular table, the guys already wedged in them. I took the empty seat next to Jared as Jacob leapt up, clearly anxious to get the meeting under way. The rest of the pack started devouring muffins before Emily had even had a chance to set them on the table properly as Jacob began.

"Ok, so I saw Bella today." There was an audible groan from those sat around the table, myself included.

"What?" Jacob asked, incredulous.

Paul laughed around the blueberry muffin stuffed in his mouth, "Well, you've been thinking about her non-stop when you haven't seen her for months. I don't even want to think about how bad you'll be now that you _have_ seen her."

Everyone around the table nodded. Jacob rolled his eyes and slapped Paul round the back of the head before continuing:

"Anyway…Bella had some _interesting_ news about the bloodsuckers."

That got Sam's attention, "What about the bloodsuckers?" He asked, suddenly serious, obviously going into Alpha mode.

"What do you want first, the good news or the bad news?" Jacob asked, sitting down next to Paul and Sam again, now that he'd got everyone's attention.

"Bad." We all said at the same time.

Jacob chuckled before his expression turned pensive, almost worried even, "Umm…well we were talking about where Bella ran off to when the tiny leech came back to Forks. She told me that they'd gone to Italy to go and see something called the Volturi." He took a deep breath then before continuing, "She'd mentioned it to me before she left but I didn't have a clue what she was going on about. Basically, and these are Bella's words, not mine, they're kind of like a vamp royal family."

Sam frowned, "Why did Bella go to see them?"

"I'm getting to that part, it kind of relates to the good news in a weird way," Jacob said tiredly, rubbing his forehead. "She told me about this Volturi, although she didn't go into anything specific. She said that they basically policed the rest of the leech population and…"

"That's a good thing right? Makes our job easier if their own are controlling them." Jared interjected.

"Well… I suppose," Jacob conceded, sighing, "but, how do you suppose they maintain that control?"

Jared shrugged as Jacob looked up at him.

"Bella said that there's a ton of them, most of whom have an ability of some kind."

Low growls emanated from around the table.

"Did you find out what kind of powers these bloodsuckers have?" Sam asked, the concern still etched on his face.

"No, sorry, I didn't get the chance and Bella didn't seem to want to go into detail. I think the whole thing kind of freaked her out."

"So how was it a good thing that Bella was throwing herself at a royal family of vamps?" I scoffed.

Jacob shot me a glare, "_That's _not a good thing. Definitely not a good thing." He muttered, shuddering and looked down at the table, "It's more _why_ she felt that she had to go there. The part that relates directly to us." He said proudly, a small grin appearing on his lips as he looked around the table at all of us.

"How does any of this relate to us?" Seth asked.

"Ok, so this could get a bit confusing but stick with me. Basically _Edward_," he spat the name, "thought Bella had died…"

"Died?" Sam interrupted, "Why would he think that?"

Jacob rolled his eyes before smiling at Sam, "Well if you'd let me finish," he chuckled, "he thought she'd died because… wait no. I'm explaining this the wrong way round. Do you remember the day Bella jumped off the cliff?" Jacob asked Sam.

I instantly looked down at the table, trying to hide myself beneath the short curtain of my hair. I did remember that day. It was forever ingrained in my memory. It was the day my dad had died.

"Is this really necessary Jacob?" Sam snapped. I could just about make out him nodding in my direction and then Seth's.

"Sorry guys," Jacob said quietly, "but it is a vital part of the story. I wouldn't have brought it up otherwise."

I lifted my head, confident that I wouldn't cry, and saw Sam motion for Jacob to continue.

"The day Bella jumped off the cliff, the tiny leech, the one who see's the future, well she had a vision of it but she didn't see Bella make it to the shore. She only came back to Forks to check whether she was still alive. While I was round Bella's house the head Cullen called, asking for Charlie. I told him he was at the funeral but I didn't say whose." I winced at the mention of the funeral and Jacob shot me an apologetic look, "It turns out that it wasn't the leader after all, it was mind-reader. He assumes Bella's dead and take off to Italy, going to kill himself."

"Why would he go all the way to Italy to kill himself?" Paul asked, frowning deeply.

I rolled my eyes, as did most of the others "How easy do you think it is for a leech to kill himself? My bet is that he ran off to go and get the royal bloodsuckers to do it for him?" I asked, turning to Jacob.

Jacob nodded, "Yep. Pretty much."

"How pathetic," I mumbled. Everyone in the room apart from Emily, who was busying herself washing the dishes, heard me and laughed.

"It's a bit sweet," Seth offered innocently, "What?" he asked as all our eyes turned on him.

"No Seth," I countered, "It's a bit emo."

"What exactly does that have to do with us?" Jared asked and we all turned our attention back to Jacob.

"Fortune-teller leech didn't see Bella make it back to the shore…" he paused expectantly before rolling his eyes as if we were missing something obvious. "She didn't see me drag Bella out of the water because she couldn't see _me_. She can't see the wolves." He smiled triumphantly.

The rest of the pack hollered their delight at the news, making Emily jump out of her skin. In truth, it_ was_ good news. Very good news. It meant that the Cullens knew nothing about us- they wouldn't have a clue about me, Seth or Quil. Our numbers were a secret and we would have the element of surprise if we ever had to face them. We knew, through Jacob's near constant thoughts, that Bella was planning on being changed into one of them, and when that day came we would be ready. They would start the war and we would end it, especially with the newly discovered fact that the fortune teller couldn't see us.

"The Cullens have no idea about Leah or Seth," Jacob concluded, mirroring my own thoughts, "but I couldn't hide that Quil was a wolf. Bella knew he would change soon."

When I left the meeting I was in an oddly buoyant mood, not caused by the information Jacob had provided but due to the fact that I'd managed to survive a pack meeting at Sam and Emily's house without actually having to speak to them. Everyone, including Emily had been too pre-occupied after Jacob had left to update Quil and Embry to notice me slip out of the house. I had patrol in an hour's time and I wanted to go home and eat before I went out.

When I phased in to patrol Jared hadn't arrived yet, presumably he'd headed to Kim's straight after the meeting. Great, I was so looking forward to spending the next few hours with him now. No one wanted to be in Jared's head after a visit to Kim, for obvious reasons. Quil and Embry stayed on with me, as only Sam and Jacob- being the strongest- were permitted to patrol alone.

Embry and Quil were both still replaying what Jacob had told them earlier. I thought that they had been told the same story as the rest of us but, as I read their thoughts, I realised that Jacob had shared his whole morning with the two of them.

'_I still have to have word__s with Bella,'_ Quil laughed, _'I can't believe she knew about the wolves before me.' _

Embry laughed and they both let their thoughts drift back towards Jacob's morning on the beach. I snorted as one of them remembered Bella's reaction to Jacob not ageing.

'_Melodramatic much? Did she seriously ask where the justice was?' _I snickered.

'_Yeah.'_ Quil lazily replied.

Bella'd claimed it was just 'so unfair' that she was ageing while the rest of us weren't. That girl seriously did not know the meaning of unfair if she wondered where the justice was in that. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, not by a long shot.

I watched the last part of Bella and Jacob's conversation through Quil's eyes.

"Love at first sight? But more powerful?" Bella had asked.

"It's not easy to explain," Jacob answered, "It doesn't matter anyway. You wanted to know what happened to Sam to make him hate the vampires for changing him, to make him hate himself. And that's what happened. He broke Leah's heart. He went back on every promise he'd ever made her. Every day he has to see the accusation in her eyes, and know that she's right."

Huh. I never knew Sam felt like that. I was pretty sure that Jacob was wrong; Sam was far too wrapped up in his Emily bubble to notice my suffering. Sam wasn't heartless, I knew he felt bad about the way things had happened, but I also knew that becoming a wolf had brought him Emily, and that he'd never take that back despite what had gone on between us. That, I reasoned, was what hurt the most.

Of course, before I'd become a werewolf the pain of thinking that Sam and Emily had run off together and gone behind my back was overwhelming. It had soothed me somewhat to discover that that had not been the case but it was swiftly being replaced by a new pain, a shaper one. The fact that, despite what he'd put me through, Sam couldn't bring himself to regret what had happened because he now had Emily. To know that I wasn't good enough, that Sam loved Emily so much more than he'd loved me hurt more than anything else.

Embry and Quil had ignored, for the most part, my inner monologue, concentrating instead on the story Jacob had told them.

"Poor Emily. Poor Sam. Poor Leah." Bella had whispered quietly.

"Yeah, Leah got the worst end of the stick. She puts on a brave face. She's going to be a bridesmaid."

'_Thanks, Jacob. Just tell the whole damn town.'_ I thought before remembering that he wasn't phased.

I was still stewing over his comment as I looked at Bella's face through the memory, and I was instantly furious. Pity was written all of Bella's features. Pity for me. My life had reached an epically low point now the Bella Swan pitied me. The girl was pathetic.

I had been in love with Sam for four goddamned years before he split up with me. Yes, I had been upset. Yes, I cried all the time and reverted into myself. But I didn't break. I had seen the time when Bella had first gone to see Jacob, looking like a zombie and barely holding herself together. I had never looked like that.

Bella had only been with her leech a few months when he'd left. I'd had four years of having Sam by my side. _Her_ boyfriend hadn't run off with her cousin. _She_ didn't have to see him all the time- at least the bloodsucker'd had the decency to vanish into thin air when he left.

Every new piece of information I found out about Bella just made me hate her more and more. I was still livid long after Jared appeared and Quil and Embry took off- Bella's words still going round and round in my head…

"_Poor Leah."_

"_Poor Leah."_

"_Poor Leah."_

Poor Leah indeed.

* * *

A/N: So, I'm actually pretty pleased with this chapter. I know that not a lot happens but I think we're finally seeing Leah stand up under the strain of what's been happeneing to her. At least that's what I was going for!

Curious to know what you guys think.

Chapter 11 might be late as I've done a rough draft for it but I'm not happy with it. It's just not working at the moment but I'll try and have it up on Wednesday, no promises!

Completely unrelated, but is anyone else totally disappointed with the Eclipse calendars? I've just seen them and where the jolly is the wolf pack? I know that Jacob's in a couple and Sam and Emily have a month but where's the rest? Not happy! Why do the Cullens need a month each? Just put them in as couples like in the New Moon Calendar dammit. I want my wolfpack! Here endith the rant!

And remember: review!


	11. 11 Little Visitor

The next few days had been almost torture for me. I hated Bella more than ever and yet Jacob was thinking about her almost constantly now, excited like a kid on Christmas morning as she'd phoned him Saturday evening to inform him she'd be coming back to La Push the following Saturday. It was Thursday now and for the last five days Jacob's thoughts had only been on Bella. It was driving the whole pack crazy.

'_You going to Emily's after patrol, Quil?'_ Embry asked.

'_Yeah I'm starving. Why, are__ you?'_

'_I don't know. Emily's got her nieces over today.'_

I'd forgotten all about Amanda dropping the kids round to go for her scan. I never normally went to Emily's after patrol like the guys always did but perhaps I could make an exception. I hadn't seen Amanda and Steve since the funeral and it had been even longer since I'd seen Hannah and Claire.

'_Why would that stop you going over?'_ Quil asked Embry.

'_Oh, yeah. I forgot you haven't met them yet.'_ Embry replied as he finished his sweep and doubled back on himself. _'Well Claire's pretty quiet; she's normally stuck to Emily's side. Poor kid, I think she's scared of us. But Hannah! She'll talk your ears off. I literally couldn't get away from her last time.'_ He chuckled.

Embry then flicked through his memories of the last time they'd been at Emily's. I was surprised by how much they'd grown. Embry's thoughts were mainly focussed on Hannah, who'd occupied most of his time.

Quil laughed, _'I see what you mean. Cute kid.'_ He added when Embry's thoughts changed to a view of Claire, tiny and half hidden behind Emily's leg.

'_I'll go round if Leah's going.' _Embry challenged.

'_Why?'_ I asked, confused. Surely Embry didn't want to spend time with me.

'_You're right. I still owe you for what you said to my mom,'_ I almost winced as he replayed the argument they'd had on Saturday night. Charlotte was convinced he'd been up to no good, my remark certainly hadn't helped.

'_Then why are you only going over to Emily's if I'm there?'_

'_Safety in numbers. More people to distract Hannah. So hopefully I'll be able to eat and get out of there without being cornered.' _

We finished up the rest of our patrol mostly in silence. It was only occasionally broken up by the two of them discussing what food Emily had available and wondering whether she'd cooked.

Seth and Jared soon arrived to relieve us. I turned and started making my way home before remembering that I'd decided to go to Emily's.

'_Race you,'_ I challenged, instantly going into a sprint.

'_No fair, Leah,'_ Quil called after me, _'You started off so much closer, we're never going to win.'_

'_Or is it just because I'm faster,'_ I retorted, feeling both Embry and Quil quicken their pace. They'd taken the deep run for patrol, while I'd had the inner circle, giving me a few miles head start.

I reached the forest surrounding Emily and Sam's house in record time, the boys no where to be seen. I quickly threw on my sweats and black tank top. Running my fingers through my short hair, smoothing it and checking for leaves at the same time, I made my way up to the little house.

I knocked on the door, already hearing boisterous laughs from the pack and a high pitched giggle coming from one of my two distant little cousins.

"Come in." I heard Emily call.

I twisted the doorknob and stepped into the small kitchen before closing the door behind me quietly.

"You know, you can just come straight in, the rest of them do." She smiled, waving the spatula in her hand towards the lounge where the laughter was coming from. She turned back to the stove, finishing off some pancakes judging by the smell.

"I know." I said quietly, fidgeting in the doorway, not really knowing what to do with myself. Truth be told, I didn't feel comfortable in their house at all. It was like I was an intruder. Normally the ex-girlfriends didn't hang around long enough to see the new girlfriend, never mind be invited into their home. "I just think it's rude."

"Don't worry about it," Emily chuckled. She looked down next to her, "Claire, do you remember Aunty Leah?"

A little head pocked round the side of Emily's long skirt. I expected her to hide again but to my surprise she smiled up at me before quickly toddling across the room.

"Awnty Weah." She cried stretching her arms up.

I returned her bright smile, "Kid's got a good memory. I haven't her since Christmas," I commented before turning my attention back to the little girl. I picked her up, "Hi Claire."

She giggled before reaching for my hair. I thought she was going to start pulling on the ends of it but her little face scrunched up into adorable frown, "Hair awlll gone."

"Yes my hair's gone now."

Still frowning, she asked, "Why?"

"I umm…I didn't like it long anymore, Claire. Short hair is so much easier."

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Emily shoot me an apologetic glance; she knew just how much I missed my hair.

Claire smiled brightly, "Looks pwetty. Like you."

"Thanks Claire," I replied, feeling my cheeks flush, hoping that the guys hadn't heard her- although I doubted the wolf hearing would have missed it.

"Aunty Leah!" A little voice cried as something crashed into my legs at top speed.

"Hey, Hannah." I said, peaking round Claire's wriggling form in my arms to get a good look at the girl now clamped round my legs.

"Come with me." She instructed, taking my hand and leading me towards the lounge. "Sit." She commanded, pointing to the empty sofa. Jacob and Paul were sat at either end of the larger sofa, while Sam was sprawled in the armchair opposite the seat I'd just sat down in.

Claire spotted Paul and quickly nuzzled into my neck, trying to cover herself with my short hair. Jacob, Paul and Sam all shot me questioning looks, obviously curious as to how I'd managed to prise Claire from Emily. I shrugged then focused on Hannah, now sat beside me, as she happily chattered away about school.

I heard Embry and Quil burst through the front door and instantly groan in appreciation of the smells emanating from the stove.

I heard Embry whisper to Emily in a voice too low for the children to hear, "Where's Hannah?"

Emily chuckled, "She's in the lounge, bugging Leah as we speak."

"Worked like a charm," he said. Then added, presumably in response to Emily's confusion, "I though she wouldn't bug me so much if she had a bigger audience."

"Well you two can stop bugging _me_ and go and sit in the lounge until the pancakes are ready," she said playfully.

"Do you think it's safe?" Embry stage whispered.

He didn't wait for an answer as he and Quil made their way to join us.

"Uncle Embry!" Hannah cried in the same tone she'd used to greet me minutes earlier.

Claire peeked out from behind my hair to take in the new arrivals while Hannah leapt from the sofa and quickly darted to Embry's side. He rolled his eyes as she led him to the seat in between Jacob and Paul before climbing into his lap. She started telling Embry the same story she'd been telling me as the guys all greeted Quil and Embry before returning their attention back to ESPN.

I looked down at Claire, surprised that she hadn't tried to hide again. She was smiling brightly. I followed her eye line and looked back over my shoulder, noticing Quil, still stood frozen in the doorway, looking at Claire in my arms as if he'd never seen a little girl before. I shrugged and turned my attention back to the TV.

The rest of the guys hadn't noticed Quil and joked among themselves, apart from Embry who was nodding politely at Hannah as she made big gestures with her hands to emphasize her story.

I was hyperaware of Sam- as I unfortunately always was- so I noticed immediately when he glanced up at Quil and froze. I frowned, not sure what his problem was until Sam shouted, making us all jump.

"WHAT?" He roared, his eyes, suddenly alight with fury, fixed firmly on the doorway.

The shout broke Quil out of his trance. "Huh? What, Sam?" he asked innocently.

"Do you have _any_ idea what you've just done?" Sam bit out through his teeth.

The house was silent. Even Hannah had stopped talking long enough to take in Sam's murderous expression, before burying herself into Embry's t-shirt. Embry's eye's kept flickering between Sam and Quil, not knowing whether to comfort the obviously scared girl on his lap or throw her off and defend his friend. Claire seemed oblivious to the sudden tension, still perfectly relaxed in my arms.

"What do you mean?" Quil asked, holding up his hands.

At the same moment Emily appeared behind him, "What's going on? Sam? What happened?"

The rest of us looked at Sam then, all of us equally confused.

"He just…He just," Sam growled, thankfully too low for humans to hear. "He. Just. Imprinted. On. Claire."

Gasps rang out in the room, mine disturbing Claire for a moment as she frowned up at me, obviously confused, before she turned her attention back to Quil.

"How do you know? You can't be sure," Emily asked.

"I am. It's written all over his face." Sam replied, standing and crossing the room so quickly he was almost a blur.

"Wait, Sam." Emily instructed as he reached for Quil's throat.

Paul, Jacob, Embry and I shared glances, quickly and silently debating what we would if it turned into a fight. In situations like this having the mind link was useful. Not because we could hear each other in human form, but after spending so much time in the each others heads we could predict what the other was going to do. Jacob and Embry would want to help Quil. I already had Claire, so I'd take Hannah too. I'd have to take them out into the yard, probably the front just in case the guys needed to phase and go into the woods unseen. Paul would come with me, not wanting to lose his temper in front of the kids.

Sam stopped his advance on Quil, quickly calming the tremors rolling across his body as he took in Emily's scars, a constant and permanent reminder of what could happen.

Quil stayed silent and stock still, although his eyes darted back and forth, changing expression from wary to happy as he looked between Sam and Claire.

Emily held up her hands. Looking downwards, deep in thought she said slowly, "I think…think I've heard about something like this before. Hang on." She quickly rushed back into the kitchen.

I heard her pick up the phone and start dialling as tension continued in the lounge, no one making a sound.

After a few rings Emily started talking "Hi Quil, can I speak to your father please?" I wasn't close enough to here the response from the other end of the line but Emily started talking again after a short pause, "Hi Old Quil…

"I'm um fine, how are you?" I rolled my eyes. Now was not the time to be concerned about manners.

"Well actually yes…I seem to remember something from the legends, I just wanted you to clarify something for me…

"it's about imprinting…

"no, me and Sam are fine. It's not about us," she laughed as I winced, "I was just wondering. I think I remember hearing about a wolf who once imprinted on a child, am I right…."

There was a long pause then as Old Quil either confirmed or denied her theory.

"…I thought so…

"yes actually someone has…

"it's your grandson…

"ok do you need me to send someone up?

"...ok see you soon."

Emily quickly hung up the phone before reappearing in the doorway. "I spoke to Old Quil. He confirmed that this kind of thing has happened before. He's going to come over and talk us through it, could someone go and pick him up please?" Sam instantly calmed down, backing off from Quil.

"I'll go." Embry announced suddenly, clearly trying to escape the awkward atmosphere. He stood, placing Hannah gently down in his seat and darted past Quil, Emily and Sam towards the front door.

"Could you guys give us some privacy?" Sam asked, never taking his eyes off Quil, "Take the kids into the yard or something please?"

We exchanged concerned glances before we all stood up, Jacob taking Hannah's hand and encouraging her to move.

My eyes flicked back to Quil, who looked desperate as I walked with Claire towards the patio doors. Claire started wriggling in my arms, whining as she struggled against my gentle grip, her arms outstretched towards Quil.

"No." she pouted at me as tears started to form in her little eyes, "No, Awnty Weah."

I continued walking but Claire suddenly started screaming, tears readily over spilling onto her chubby cheeks. I hesitated and looked back at Sam.

"Fine," he sighed, "Claire can stay."

"Yay," Claire clapped, the hysterics instantly forgotten as Emily took her out of my arms.

I slid through the partially opened door before closing it fully behind me. Hannah was happily riding her bike in large circles on the grass. Jacob and Paul were sitting on the far side of the garden, their legs stretched straight in front of them as they propped themselves up on their palms. I joined them, sitting next to Jacob- the lesser of two evils- and mimicked their positions.

"Watch me." Hannah called loudly.

"We're watching." Paul called lazily, lifting his head only long enough to appease her.

"Well..." Jacob started, looking to his left and right at the both of us before sighing.

"Well," Paul and I replied simultaneously, none of knowing what to make of the situation.

After a few minutes Jacob piped up, "That's just some messed up shit."

Paul snickered, "Yeah."

We looked ahead, lost in thought, trying to process what had happened. Quil had imprinted. On a two-year-old. No matter what the legends or the stories said; that was beyond weird. What did it mean? I was worried for Claire, would Quil have to be kept away from her now? What would that do to him? To Claire? I'd seen the way they'd both reacted when I went to leave with her, how would they cope being apart? I realised, probably for the first time, in that moment, just how strong the pull of the imprinting was. It had made Claire unhappy merely at the prospect of being separated from Quil, and she didn't even know what was going on.

We heard the low rumbling of a truck engine as it turned onto the street. Once the engine had been cut we heard Embry hop out and help Old Quil up to the house. Soon enough Embry appeared, ambling round the side of the house before throwing himself down next to Paul with a sigh.

"Soooo…" he began.

"Yeah." Jacob replied.

"This is weird." Embry surmised.

I shuddered at the thought of it.

"Did Old Quil say anything about it on the way over?" Jacob asked, frowning.

"Yeah. I was pretty freaked by the time I got over there." Embry started as the rest of us looked at him. "I love Quil, he's like a brother to me but…well…I didn't really know what to make of the whole…"he motioned to the house.

"Tell me about it." Paul said.

"So anyway," Embry continued, "Old Quil said that there was nothing to worry about, it'd happened before and there's nothing romantic about it at all. He said that Quil would be like her brother and it'd only change once Claire's an adult. The old guy actually seemed pretty stoked."

"Why?" Jacob frowned.

Embry rolled his eyes, "Oh, he was made up that Quil imprinted."

I couldn't help but feel a bit bitter. Of course Old Quil would be happy for him; his grandson was now literally bound into being eternally happy. Was there even a chance for me to find happiness like that? The kind of happiness Emily shared with Sam, while it should have been me? Did I even want that; to be bound so inescapably to someone? Someone I hadn't chosen for myself? I wasn't sure.

"That's three now." Jacob said quietly, "Three imprints. Maybe it's not as rare as we think." He pondered, speaking to no one in particular. From the tone of his voice I could tell that he didn't like the idea of imprinting being commonplace. It was obvious that he didn't want to, but I couldn't work out why.

"Maybe," Paul offered, "I hope not. I don't want to be tied down to just one woman."

We all rolled our eyes as Jacob smacked him on the back of his head.

Wrong move.

"Jeez Paul. Calm down," Embry pleaded, noticing Paul quivering hands before looking pointedly towards Hannah across the yard, "Not here."

Paul leapt up and ran for the cover of the trees. He'd just managed to get out of sight when we heard the sound of clothes tearing and felt the familiar shimmer in the air.

The sudden departure of Paul got Hannah's attention and she looked over to where we were sat.

"Embry! I didn't see you come back." She threw her bike down and raced to sit in Paul's place. "Did you see me riding my bike?"

Groaning, he replied, "Yeah I did, you were very good."

"I know," she smiled confidently, "I told daddy to take my stabilizers off but he said I was too young, but I'm five now," she whined.

"Ummm…well I'm sure he'll take them off for you when you're a bit bigger."

She crossed her arms, "I'm plenty big. In fact, I'm going to be a big sister again soon. Mommy's got a baby in her tummy," Hannah announced proudly.

Embry's reply was cut off as the patio door slid open a crack and Sam poked his head round, "You guys can come in if you want," his head disappeared before popping back out, "Emily said the pancakes are ready."

We leapt up then, making our way to the kitchen in record time. Quil was already there, Claire asleep on his lap. Old Quil had decided to stay in the lounge, not wanting to get between the wolves and their meal.

We ate in an awkward silence. Quil didn't even touch his plate, and kept flickering between looking content and embarrassed as he kept his eyes on the table. Sam had relaxed somewhat yet there was still an almost tangible tension in the air. It was broken suddenly by Jacob's loud booming laugh.

"Shhh." Quil chastised him, covering Claire's ears as she stirred, relaxing once he she settled again.

That just cause Jacob to laugh again, although much quieter this time. We all looked at him expectantly. His shoulders bobbed up and down silently as tears streamed down his face.

Exasperated, Embry asked the question that was bugging all of us, "What's so funny?"

"I-It's juss-sst…" he waved his hand in Quil's direction.

"What?" Quil asked, on the defensive now.

Jacob took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his face. Controlling his laughter, he managed to get out, "It's Quil! Quil with a two-year-old! How many older girls have you gone after, man? I don't think you've ever even tried to date anyone our age…and n-n-now…" Jacob burst into laughter again as Quil glared at him.

We all saw what Jacob was getting at. Quil- self professed ladies man- now reduced to babysitting service. The table shook as we all doubled up, trying to keep our chuckles as quiet as possible. Even_ I_ couldn't contain my amusement despite the fact that I was sitting in Sam and Emily's house, having to spend time with them.

By the next day the shock still hadn't worn off, although everyone did see the funny side. The Elders hadn't been concerned at all by the new development. Old Quil had told Billy and Sue what had happened and they'd accepted it with the same ease he had done.

The pack, on the other hand, were a different matter. I was not the only one who couldn't shake off the feeling of unease. We had all been appeased somewhat when we'd all seen into Quil's mind and knew for ourselves that there was absolutely nothing inappropriate in his thoughts towards Claire.

Surprisingly it was Quil's best friends who were having the hardest time dealing with it. Jacob and Embry were struggling to adjust to the change in him. Fundamentally, Quil's personality hadn't changed one iota, but he'd spent so much of his time chasing after older girls that both Embry and Jacob struggled to get used to the now monastic thoughts of their friend. But it had only been a day, and I was sure that they'd soon fall into their familiar pattern.

Putting myself through the pain of going over to Sam and Emily's house had been wasted though. As soon as the pancakes were done, Sam ordered everyone except Quil to go home. He wanted to explain the situation to Amanda and Steve without an audience, so I never got to see them.

Suddenly, I felt a shimmer in the air and Jacob's raging thoughts instantly flooded my mind. Jared, who was running with me, could feel it too but neither of us asked Jacob what was wrong; it was plain to see from his thoughts.

Bella was indeed planning on being changed.

She was going to become one of _them_ in a matter of weeks.

Bella Swan would be the enemy.

Then we would go to war.

* * *

**A/N: Ok so big chapter Eclipse plot-wise! **

**I hope you enjoyed. Massive thanks to all the people who've reviewed, fav, and alerted this story. Please keep it coming!**


	12. 12 Stories

**Disclaimer: There's a couple of lines from Eclipse in this chapter, so just to be on the safe side: I don't own Twilight, or its characters**

* * *

'_I can't believe I said that to her.'_ Jacob cried once he'd calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence.

Neither Jared nor I bothered to ask Jacob what he was talking about. His thoughts would show us soon enough.

'_I told her I'd rather see her dead,' _his tone was remorseful.

I snorted_, 'So? She'll be dead anyway. What's the difference?'_

'_There's not a difference to _us_, Leah.'_ He growled as he showed me Bella's face, crumpled in hurt, _'but there_ is_ a difference to her.'_

'_She had to know that's how you were going to react,'_ Jared piped in, _'Don't worry about it, Jake.'_

'_I've got to call her,'_ Jacob said suddenly, _'I've got to apologise,'_ and with that he disappeared from our minds as quickly as he'd appeared.

* * *

I laid in my bed for most of the next morning, content that it was a Saturday and I didn't have to drag myself up at the crack of dawn to cover patrols with Paul and Sam while the rest of the pack were at school.

I finally rose around eleven, albeit begrudgingly. I wasn't looking forward to today. There was a council meeting scheduled for tonight. All the wolves were expected to attend and it was my first one. I wasn't looking forward to hearing the stories again, this time knowing that they were true. I was sure that all the talk of Taha Aki's 'sons' would only serve to make me feel worse about myself, although I was beginning to question whether that was possible.

For the first time in my life I felt truly alone, like I had no place. No matter how down I'd been in the past I always felt like a part of the community, a part of the tribe. Now I didn't know where I belonged. I didn't belong in the pack. I was the only female werewolf ever to have existed and I knew that I wasn't the only one dealing with the consequences of that. The whole pack were becoming less and less inclined at hiding their resentment from me.

There was still so much I was trying to accept. I was grappling with who I was as well as trying to understand imprinting. On top of that- and possibly the most painful aspect- was dealing with Sam's thoughts. When he wasn't thinking about Emily, and how perfect she was, he was weighing up whether my inclusion in the pack was a good thing or not.

On the one hand he reasoned, much like Emily had done, that he was relived that I finally knew the truth. That at least now I was hurting over the right reasons. I'd seen in his mind that he hoped that I wouldn't blame either of them anymore. I couldn't say that my healing process was that developed- in fact I doubted that I'd ever stop completely blaming them. However, I was at least trying to see things from their perspective.

Sam's other thoughts troubled me though. I had seen plenty of times that he was worried about what being a female werewolf would do to me. But once, a few days ago, I'd caught a bitter quality to his thoughts. He didn't like that fact that he had to control all of his thoughts around me. He'd been used to letting Emily run through his mind on a near constant basis before I'd come along. Sam had then wished I'd disappear.

He'd apologised at once, claiming that it was an errant thought, but I knew the difference. It was more that he'd worded it wrong. Instead of wishing that I'd disappear, I could tell that he wished he'd never fallen in love with me in the first place. That hurt more than anything else; that he'd simply wish our love anyway like that. Even hurting like I was, I had never wished for that. He couldn't avoid confirming my assumption as we were both phased, able to see into the recesses of each others minds.

Time seemed to speed up as I whiled away the afternoon watching TV. It often does when you're trying to avoid something. As yet, I had managed to develop no excuse to get me out of the council meeting on the cliffs. Sam had even granted the entire pack a night off, a first since the red-headed leech had first appeared. He reasoned that the Cullens would be on their guard and that the fortune teller would be able to see if Victoria was coming, especially without our involvement.

My mother, Seth and I made our way to the cliffs together at around five. Some people were already there, clustered together trying to set the fire. With annoyance I noticed that Sam and Emily, who were deep in conversation with Billy, had arrived before us- I really didn't want to have to make idle chit chat with them, especially in front of everyone else.

Sue sat down to the left of Billy in the chair that had been brought for her and instantly joined their conversation. I noticed that the two Quil's hadn't arrived yet, neither had Jacob or Jared. Just as I started to set myself on down on the ground next to my mom Sam leant round Billy.

"Leah? Seth? Just to let you know that Jacob's bringing Bella tonight," I rolled my eyes, "I know, I know," he held his hands up in a gesture of surrender, obviously willing me not to start complaining, "so could you both please_ try_ not to let on that you're wolves now?"

"It's not like I'm shouting it from the rooftops," I muttered sarcastically while Seth just nodded.

Sam ignored me, "Oh and we've had to rearrange some boundary lines…"

"Why?" I interrupted.

"Apparently a leech managed to get into Bella's room," this way clearly news to my mother, who shuddered, "so we're patrolling Forks now too. Well, Jacob mainly. The rest of the pack already knows so I'll get Embry to show you the new boundaries when you're on patrol later Leah."

The Ateara's showed up then, Old Quil quickly taking his seat in between Billy and Sam. They were closely followed by Jared, who was holding hands with a mousy looking girl who I assumed to be Kim.

"Hey guys," Jared called once they'd reached the circle, before bringing Kim down to sit at the far end, opposite the elders.

"Oh Kim, I'd forgot you haven't met everyone here," Jared said softly, tucking some of Kim's wispy hair behind her ear, making a faint blush rise in her cheeks, before motioning towards us, "This is Seth and Leah Clearwater. And that's Quil Ateara." He pointed to Quil, who was too busy discussing Claire with Billy to notice his introduction.

"Hi Kim," Seth grinned.

I nodded once in her direction before turning my attention to the fire, which was now burning brightly. Embry and Paul backed away once the fire reached a dull roar, joining Jared and Kim. Quil sat next to Seth and Paul. Now there was only just enough room around the circle for Jacob and Bella, right next to Sam and Emily, right opposite me.

"I say we just start the food now," Quil piped up.

"Yeah, screw waiting for Jake." Paul interjected.

Sam laughed but there was a seriousness to his tone, "You know the rules, you've got to wait for your brothers before you start eating."

Paul rolled his eyes as I huffed. Brothers. Typical. Does that mean I count as a sister? Other than Seth, I didn't want to be considered as a sister to any one of these idiots. I gazed into the fire, not wanting to get myself any more riled up- I was already dreading hearing the stories now that they had new meaning for me- I couldn't afford to lose my temper.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the new arrivals. Embry's shout made me jump.

"Hey vampire girl!"

My head snapped up as Bella sat down next to Embry, resting herself against a large rock while Jacob flopped down beside her.

She blushed a bright crimson, "Hey Embry." Bella said softly.

Emily leaned around Jacob to ask, "Hi, Bella, How are you?"

"I'm ok thanks," she said frowning as if that weren't the entire truth, "How have you been? I haven't seen you in so long."

Of course Bella and Emily would be close, I thought with spite. Both totally uncaring about the people surrounding them, people they claimed to be friends with. Emily with Sam and Bella here, leading Jacob on. I was instantly annoyed with myself. How could I expect to accept imprinting and try to repair my relationship with Emily when I was comparing her to Bella?

At least Emily didn't have a choice. Looking over to Jared, seeing the utter devotion he had for Kim made me realise that Emily and Sam had obviously been downplaying their feelings for one another in front of me. Meanwhile Bella had chosen her bloodsucker and still felt the need to string Jacob along, giving him false hope. In truth, I felt sorry for him. In fact, I almost felt sorry for her bloodsucker too- what she was doing wasn't fair on him either- but I couldn't bring myself to feel bad for a leech.

"I need word with you Bella." Quil called to her from across the fire.

"So I've heard," she smiled and nudged Jacob, though it didn't move him.

Paul fanned his hand in front of his nose dramatically, "God, Bella. Keep the vamp stench downwind why don't you?"

I was silent as the circle erupted in laughter. I kept my gaze firmly on the fire but I could just make out Bella laughing before she cast a questioning look at Seth and me. I wondered what that was about but then I realised that she wouldn't know that we knew about vampires now too.

The food was brought out then. I kept quiet as I cooked and ate my three hotdogs. I was starving but I didn't want to embarrass myself by devouring my food the way the guys did. I noticed- the few times that I looked up- that Bella and Kim both sat open mouthed as they watched the pack literally inhaling their food.

The sun set slowly and before I knew it Billy started the story. I almost groaned when I realised that he was re-telling the legend of Taha Aki- it was by far one of the longest. I remained crossed legged, watching the fire as it crackled and hissed, toying with the grass and sand with my fingers as I listened.

I rolled my eyes when I saw Emily produce a notebook and start furiously scribbling down Billy's words. Did she not realise that Sam would have to listen to these stories so many times that by the time he was in Billy's position he'd have them memorised?

I followed the sound of Billy's voice, deep and grave, only interrupted when my mother thought I wasn't paying attention and prodded my side.

"Taha Aki fathered many sons, and some of these found that, after they had reached the age of manhood, they, too, could transform into wolves." Billy continued, "The wolves were all different, because they were spirit wolves and reflected the men they were inside."

It was difficult for me to listen to a story about men and sons and manhood, knowing that I was a part of that. There had been no daughters before me, and there probably wouldn't be any after. I was a freak, a mutation. I also realised that the story said that they transformed once they'd reached manhood- an age Seth had not reached. Why did Seth phase at such a young age then? I frowned. Was there a need for him to change? Would more wolves be needed for the war with the Cullens?

Quil snapped me out of my thoughts, "So that's why Sam is all black. Black heart, black fur." He muttered, amused.

It was a good assessment. I felt the corners of mouth tug up against my will.

So quickly I almost didn't notice it Sam glanced my way before turning his attention to Quil.

"And your chocolate fur reflects what? How_ sweet _you are?"

I idly wondered what my fur meant. Light grey, bland, dull, lifeless. That pretty much summed up how I'd been for the past year. I wondered if my fur would have been a different color if I'd phased before Sam had split up with me. Probably not, I'd always be in the shadows.

Billy continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, finishing the last part of the story before Old Quil told the story of the third wife. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the story, I didn't want to hear about the first imprint. I didn't want to hear about _any _imprint. I was trying so hard to accept the concept and yet I had it thrust in my face all the time.

Quil imprinting on Claire, Jared sat fawning over Kim not ten feet away, Emily and Sam opposite me, hearing about Tahi Aki's perfect wife. It was too much for me. I desperately wanted to shout, 'what about the other wives?' Why had our histories forgotten them? Were they not good enough for him? Did they not make him happy before he'd found his imprint? Were they not important enough, even if it was just to Taha Aki?

No, the two forgotten women obviously weren't good enough. He had carried on after the first two had died, but had been destroyed by the death of his imprint, no longer able to go on.

As Old Quil finished and conversation resumed around the fire pit I kept my eyes closed, fighting down all my thoughts, trying to keep them from spewing out of my mouth. With horror I realised that a traitor tear had escaped and was slowly trailing down my cheek. I wiped it away before anyone realised it was there.

I was thankful that it was almost time for my patrol, not wanting to spend longer with these people than was strictly necessary. Usually, I'd just slip away when no one was looking, but my mom was here. She had eyes like a hawk and if she spotted me trying to sneak away she'd make me stay, and give me a lecture later on about 'including myself'.

Finally Embry and I left. We walked in silence through the woods. Not only did I not want to make small talk- unlike the others, I didn't consider any of the members of the pack my friends- I was still mulling over the stories Old Quil and Billy had told. It was different hearing the legends when you knew they were true, every minute detail suddenly became so important, vital even. Of course I was looking for hints about the possibility of female werewolves, even though I knew I wouldn't find any. From day one I'd been told I was unique- my mom called it special, I called it being a freak.

Soon enough, Embry overtook me, delving into the deeper parts of the forest to phase. I found my own private place to undress before tying my clothes to my ankle. As I phased into my wolf I realised I wasn't the only one pondering the legends.

By now Embry was a good mile ahead of me, already taking the north sweep, leaving me to loop round to the south. I usually didn't bother listening in to the thoughts of the pack- I had my own problems to deal with- but something in Embry's thoughts intrigued me as I ran. How could I have not realised this sooner?

Embry was thinking about how we were all descendants of Taha Aki, the great Quileute chief. Embry, never having had a father figure in his life, only knew of his mothers roots, which distinctly lacked any Quileute blood. Charlotte Call was one hundred percent Makah. So how the hell had Embry transformed?

I continued my run, whipping past the trees fast enough that they blurred into a mix of green and brown. It was easy to see that this question had been plaguing Embry for a while now. He was recalling all of the conversations the pack'd had about it, long before I first phased. It turns out that even though Embry could be the child of pretty much any man over forty in La Push, the pack had managed to narrow it down to three choices; Quil Sr, Billy, or Sam's dad, Joshua. This was almost too good. No wonder Charlotte named him after a soap opera character, he was living in one.

'_Get out of my head, Leah.'_ Embry practically growled.

'_You know, I would if I could. Trust me. Your mind isn't anywhere I want to be.'_

'_Just focus on your own thoughts, leave mine alone.' _

'_Ha! I wish I could,'_ I sneered, _'What's the problem, Embry?_ _Did I hit a sore spot?'_

'_Just shut up.' _He snapped, increasing the speed of his run even though we were miles apart.

The next hour wasn't silent by any means- the two of us were deep in thought, yet we didn't communicate directly to each other. Embry was trying desperately to hide his thoughts but he was finding it increasingly difficult. I was still thinking about what Embry had said about his father. I'll admit, part of me was doing it just to wind him up. It may have been childish but I was fed up of the way I'd been treated by the pack. Not one of them even took the time to at least _try_ to understand my feelings. They were just annoyed that my presence alone caused friction in the pack. Another part of me was also trying to figure out the mystery of Embry's father. I couldn't really imagine Charlotte sleeping with any of the men in question.

'_Leah! Give it a rest!'_

'_I can't help what I think.' _

'_Try!'_

I was just about the answer him when a pungent scent caught my nose. Skidding to a stop, I rounded back, sniffing the ground to locate where the scent was coming from. It was sweet, unnaturally sweet and unmistakably vampire.

'_Hold on,'_ Embry called, changing his course, _'I'm coming.'_

I found the source of the smell- a fern frond- and though it burnt my nose I had to sniff it. I was still getting used to my heightened senses, so I couldn't work out whether it was a vampire the pack had come across before.

'_Almost there. If you find out what direction it went don't go after it. Wait for me.'_

'_I don't have to do as you say Embry. I'm pretty sure I can handle it by myself.'_ I snorted.

'_I doubt that.'_ He retorted as his dark grey wolf burst out the trees to my left.

Growling, I backed away so that he could get the scent himself.

'_It's Victoria's scent but its days old dumbass.'_

'_Hey, how was I supposed to know that?'_

He rolled his eyes, _'It's pretty simple. If you actually paid attention to what we're all doing when we're out on patrol with you, you'd know how to tell the difference.'_

'_I pay attention.' _I shot back.

'_No you don't. You're so focused on avoiding Sam that you have no room for anything else.'_

'_Shut up, Embry!' _I snarled viciously.

'_What's the problem?'_ he taunted in a singsong voice, _'Did I hit a sore spot?'_

I don't know what came over me, whether it was down to being part animal or not, but I saw red. Sensing my fury Embry back up a couple of steps, his ears flat to his head, but it was too late. I leapt before I'd even made the conscience decision to do so. I sailed through the air, my claws extended, ready to sink into their target. My growls were so loud they vibrated throughout my whole body and echoed off the surrounding trees.

I heard nearby animals scatter as I made contact, burying my teeth in Embry's thick fur, causing him to yelp. We rolled together, a ball of teeth, fur and claws as we both frantically tried to get the upper hand. Embry was heavier than me, but my anger pushed me forwards. We separated, both panting heavily as we circled each other. My hackles were raised, my whole body tense for any attack he might deliver.

We continued circling, playing the waiting game as our paws dug into the soft soil beneath us. This time Embry moved first, launching himself across the space between us and sunk his teeth into my shoulder as I turned to move out of the way a second too late. I bit back a yelp. It hurt, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

My comparatively small size was seen as weakness by the rest of the pack but I knew how to use it to my advantage. I whipped round, causing Embry to release my shoulder- pulling out some of my fur- as I sank my own teeth into his hind leg, locking my jaw as hard as I could. My claws raked desperately, trying to find contact on his flank as he tried to shake me off.

We didn't even feel anyone else phase in until we got the order.

'_STOP!'_ Sam commanded.

We instantly released each other, both panting heavily, as our heads whipped round in the direction we could sense Sam was coming from. I quickly assessed my injuries. My shoulder had a deep bite mark, but I could tell it was already healing, along with about five scratches over my face and flanks that I hadn't even noticed happen.

'_What's going on?'_ Sam asked, furious, as he skidded to a stop in front of us, the black of his fur blending into the darkness of the forest.

Embry instantly focused on his previous thoughts about his father and what I'd said. I didn't want Sam to know what I'd snapped over, so I kept my thoughts closed off, thinking the same as Embry.

'_Embry don't attack Leah.' _

'_She attacked me first.'_ Embry defended, flashing through images of my leap towards him.

'_Ok fine. Neither of you attack each other. Got it? We're supposed to be on the same side.'_ There was no double timbre but the tone of his voice was stern, chastising. _'I want to know the whole story. Explain.' _He said, pointedly looking in my direction.

With a sigh I ran through the whole of our patrol, starting with our spat about Embry's parents and ending with his comment about Sam. _'That's it.'_ I grumbled, my head hung low in embarrassment.

Sam sighed as if he was dealing with two bickering kids.

'_It feels like it sometimes,'_ he complained, _'Leah, don't be nasty to Embry. Embry don't say things to Leah you know will upset her.'_

There were so many things I could think of to say to that, but there was no point. Protesting was useless, although Sam couldn't control what we thought, he could stop our actions with an Alpha command.

We both mumbled our agreement and Sam ran back towards the reservation, phasing back just as he hit the edge of the tree line.

We continued our patrol in silence before Jacob joined, running wide loops around Bella's house like a pathetic guard dog.

'_Oh I'm sorry that I actually care about people, Leah,'_ Jacob barked when I he saw what I was thinking. I'd obviously managed to offend him. _'Some of actually have friends.' _

Jacob was surprised when Embry laughed. Apparently, he was usually a nice guy. Jacob's confusion disappeared as soon as Embry replayed our evening for him, then he understood Embry's problem with me.

No one understood _my_ problems. I hadn't exactly made an effort to befriend any of the pack but as I finished my patrol to the sounds of the two of them moaning about me I reasoned that I had had enough. Enough of their lack of understanding, their resentment, their taunting and their ignorance.

I _would_ make an effort from now on. It just wouldn't be in a positive way. If they thought having me in the pack was bad before, they haven't seen anything yet.

* * *

A/N: So we're finally getting to bitchy Leah, Yay!

That being said, I've got crazy writers block on this story. I am 100% going to finish this story, but I'm going to be taking a small break. Hopefully it'll only be two weeks, if it's more then I'll leave a message on my profile. Sorry to all of you who want more and are used to the bi-weekly updates, but I don't want to just rush something out and it be awful.

So hopefully it'll be two weeks until the next update.

Let me know what you thought about this chapter, I was kinda nervous about this one because it's such a big moment in the book.


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